i am shan

Nothing lasts forever

2011-04-20T12:23:00.002+08:00

So yesterday an unexpected revelation was given to me when I had a one to one meeting with the big big boss. It really was very sudden, totally caught me off guard.

The days of "don't worry, he will back us up" or " i'm not so sure, you can ask him" or "Aiya, he'll settle it one la" will very soon be over.

No one gave us any warning, and we'll (i'll) be on our own in a month's time. Extremely well kept secret.

Surely, I will miss him, the things that I could have continued to learn from him..

“人有悲欢离合，月有阴晴圆缺，此事古难全。
但愿人长久，千里共婵娟"

We share the same moon out there.

nEw beginnings

2010-11-05T10:03:00.001+08:00

THot I wouldn't be able to use my blog spot account here! aPparently need to edit the HTML version instead. But not able to change the font sizes and font types. typing on the onscreen keyboard is a breeze really, Just that the auto correct spelling gets on my nerves sometimes when I'm using colloquial terms. Let's see how this pans out when I preview this blog.

So 2010 is a good year for me, just as I expected at the close of a tough 2009.
Several new beginnings - spiritual, personal, work-wise and relationships-wise.

Thank God!

Last night I dreamt that I hugged tightly a person whom I've not hugged for a very long time...the feeling of nostalgia rushes back in.

Quarter century old

2010-03-28T22:46:00.003+08:00

Today i'm a quarter century old, or young, whichever way sounds better.

Anyway,i've got a new interest. Here's a pic:

Will i get to meet him someday? That depends on whether he'll be in Seoul last week of July. I do hope Seoul:)

I'm dead beat. Tomorrow got to be up early to kill off quarterly report. Blessed 25th Shan! its gonna be a great year :)

Month of my birth day

2010-03-01T21:55:00.002+08:00

March is the month of my birth day. Yippee i'm coming quarter of a century old. I have already set an appointment for 28th March 2010 on my Samsung F480 (pink). I made another appointment on the calendar for 28th March 2015 - i'd be 30 then. So cool, can't wait.

March is also when i have my first team building event in ST. Why is it that my boss, having worked 10 years, never had to go for such events, but i get 1 on my 2nd year? randomly quoting my boss' boss, we're supposed to be emotionally vulnerable with each other. That quote filled me with laughter simply because i'm going with the Mask team. The Mask team! urm...KM? YJ? YC? Everyday is emotionally vulnerable enough with them hiding their scraps!

I prepared myself to leave at the end of January, but my 1st choice was blown. Then i wanted to leave end of Feb...then it was March, before TB, but looks like for that to happen now, i'd need to hear some news within these 2 weeks. Quote Caffier: "Pffffft!"

I have my MBO now, i think that was sth that was seriously lacking when i started fy in July. I did not know what i was driving at 3/4 of the time. Now at least its seriously clearer and i feel, sth achievable :)

We'll see, we'll see. This year is sure gonna be a better year :) *Pray pray*

WK04: "i HATE work"

2010-01-17T23:42:00.003+08:00

Its no secret that i hate my job. Just emerged from 2 hours of crunching numbers for target setting, which i feel has no bearing on how i am going to bring down my KPI.

I do not have the strength to describe my typical day in detail. Summarily, its like being a headless fly. A headless fly chasing people for due actions, actions, actions. Organising and chairing meetings on major process issues that crop up so often which i do not have any deep understanding of. How does 1 chair a meeting on sth he/she does not understand? This is a thorn in my flesh. Point your extinguisher at wherever the fire pops up and shoot away. Don't bother building up technical knowledge, there isnt time to do it. Because all time is spent using excel pivot tables/macros to track which engineer did not hand in his report on time. Churn out alot of data and guess what your boss needs for staff meeting because she is also guessing what her boss needs.

This is really not working out at all. What have i learnt? Zilch (But really MUCH more than when i was in training dept). To be fair, i did learn alot more on using excel file to churn out reports, but what does that help? A fair bit of analysis also, but in technical aspects, close to zilch. Just a high paid secretary. Its painful to think what the rest of the engineers think of this position.

Another damn week begins. 0004hrs

Photo updates

2008-10-02T22:44:00.002+08:00

Christopher currently in Russia on board Safe Astoria. Poor him!

Ayam penyet

That might be ferrari?

And this could be McClaren.

Barichello throwing his cap/gloves into the river.

Massa pulling away with the fuel pipe attached, knocking down a mechanic dramatically.

David coulthard almost pulling off the same trick.

Trulli nearly fainting

Raikkonen not caring a hoot for his team nor team-mate and crashing into the barrier he has avoided for nearly 60 laps.

Alonso winning (not v exciting, but quite admirable that he kept his cool and his car didnt disappoint)

Such exciting imageries!

countdown 3 working days + 2 weekend-days to the real world. A quote from my future boss:

"If you can survive here, you can survive anywhere." Shudder.

The days gone by

2008-09-26T16:27:00.003+08:00

The flash.

54 days..which is 1296 hours..which is 77 760 minutes....which is 4 665 600 seconds just zoomed by. The days are a blur, a frenzy, extremely tiring. in this short time, there's been a 4-vehicle-chain accident, go karting, F1 pre-practise recee, and the actual practise in 3 hours (thanks to the ever caring Clarissa. Wah, great to be her friend, she v take care of me and everyone else who knows her! :)) Celebrated Clarissa's birthday, ate Botak Jones, had ayam penyet (flattened chicken), sold a few tupperwares to a lovely (i find her looks very sweet) colleague, gave tuition to Clarissa's son (cute joel with giraffe eyelashes), had such wonderful colleagues and bosses.

Good things come to an end, the fun is over and the real world begins on 8 October. Really enjoyed working with Irina/Ray/Tatiana/Lars/Katya, based in Russia. Wish i had an opportunity to actually visit them there!

I'm afraid...of working for Singaporean bosses. Not that i have worked for one for long before. Scottish bosses are very nice and considerate. Although they always joke about females being weaker. At least only Jim, but i know he is joking (i hope).

I sat down with him once, and said "Jim, if you can trust me, i would like to do things on my own, even though i may not be experienced at all. if i'm unclear, i will seek your advise" And he says: "Yea, good. After all i pay your salary and i expect you to do your work, if i have to do your work, then why should you be getting a salary?"

I totally agreed with that and we had a deal. It worked extremely well because I am very comfortable with handling challenges without micro-managment and because Jim is an excellent boss. He never gets stressed no matter what the difficulty is. He seems to have all the solutions to the problems i present him. Secondly, he doesnt let me sink by myself, he protects his surbodinate (ie stands up for me when others are being difficult)

I remember once, his tone was very harsh, but i knew it was not directed at me, but at somebody else. He came out and said very gently " Shanley, you know that was not at you" or something.

For those of us who wants to be bosses in future, we should learn to adopt the big heartedness and confidence of the angmohs. They are absolutely not perfect, but we can pick and choose their good points, same as what they can from us. Asians are very very efficient and clever workers, which they obviously know.

The new work is quite near my house, just a 15 mins car ride.

ok i'm going off now. continue later.

Day by day

2008-08-02T20:25:00.003+08:00

I've got things to blog about, but i'm simply too tired. coming from a fitful-rest chalet night and a 2.5 hr tuition makes me stoned.

i see this bump on my knee. its a mosquito bite but it looks like the protrusion of a scar tissue. the mosquito which bit me is very frenzied. the typical mosquitoes that preyed on me were all devious. they knew how to torment me by flying so close by, making me think that i could slap them to death, but escaping in the mini-seconds. they taunted me often and they're cool..or so they act. but this one...its abit different. its so hurried, so...scared or sth. but all the same, i cannot catch it.

someone taught me once, just spread out my legs and sit still. wait for the enemy to make a landing. then when it has its stingers stuck drilling for its honey, land a big one. The success rate of this is 50%, a significant increase from 10% when counter-attack was made in the air previously. Thank you, that someone.

Day by day. That's it. Life can be lived day by day. Temptations can be won day by day. A person can be loved day by day. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof. Praise the Lord!

Day by day..day by day..day by day.

on another note, my family can really be the ambassodors of singapore tourism. Make us the poster family pls (and pay us)! We've been to science centre, snow city, zoo, night safari, discovery centre, chalets, prawning, fishing, sentosa (many times as a fam) and so much more.

in the next 2 months, i need not fret ov money...at all. the experience is gg to be so diff from last time. its amazing how when a door shuts right in my face, several others open up so soon after. and to tink i believed that God's plans are not clear at all. but yes, they will not be clear at first, but when the time comes, they become so clear, its like crystals. its a yes and no. but there is a WAIT in between. there's a yes. No...WAIT...yes...NO...WAIT... but the wait is what is most special. its painful indeed, very painful, but its what's most special. IT SHOWS YOU YOUR CHARACTER. it showed me mine.

ugly. impatient. silly. but i grew. and continue to grow. and will continue to grow. expectant of more wait.

2 months starting on monday. day by day, shan. day by day.

2008-06-15T01:05:00.002+08:00

There are times that i wish my dreams are simply the following:

. go scuba-diving and see the wonderful creatures underwater
. lie down on the vast-est, freshest green grassland and look up into the blue-est sky
. spend retirement in a farm in China
. open my eyes one day and find that i am living in a some sort of english cottage. then open the window and look out into a street where pple are walking leisurely, with no hurry and going about their daily businesses with smiles on their faces.
. climb mt kinabalu and run a 5-km marathon

the above are all real-life dreams that i gathered from pple ard me.

some of these dreams are so simple and achievable, its just amazing that pple consider them dreams. its either these pple are really successful with their lives so far so that they have alr experienced the higher things in life or they must be very contented pple.

for which case both I am not.

till the day the FAMILY finally gets the things that they want without anybody feeling strained; till the day the poor cousins and causes are helped (youth-at-risks, 3rd world countries); till the day money is expended to help the less fortunate- i find that i simply cannot have simple dreams.

or can i? if what i believe is wrong, can someone please save me?

circumstances mold pple to be the persons they are. for me, the trying period was 8 yrs ago when ok income became low income. over-sensitive? checked. unable to let go of past experiences? checked. but i never want to go back to those years again. it definitely impacted the tender heart.

the short-term dream- money.
the middle-term dream - money.
the long-term dream- money.

of course these are interspersed with learning. 2 major themes in life. money and learning. learning and money. but i tink money first.

others may suffer worse circumstances. but i dun believe it is accurate to compare who is absolutely worse. because each person's make-up is different.

A experiences worse things than B is life. But A is stronger than B. A survives and comes out better than B. Something like that.

I tink my dream is to be able to dream simply. I tink i will be so much happier than. No, i'm sure i will be much happier.

23rd Birthday

2008-04-01T22:11:00.004+08:00

On the 28th March 2008 Friday, Ah Mei, Vonny, Ah Fang (aka Ah ma.. aaka 'Fungi') and me met at bugis for steamboat at Chong Qing. i was presented with a big bouquet of 3 sunflowers plus an assortment of very nice flowers. Really loved it. Rearranged it when i was home.

Chong qing offers a flat rate of 18 bucks. it isnt very cheap, considering that the food is okie only...but not too bad cos we ate for nearly 3 hours. the best thing is the pork liver. its so so delicious when cooked thoroughly in the boiling chicken soup! wah, really enjoyed it. so thin and yummy...hmmmm :)

After dinner we considered having a drink at the one of the singing pubs in city hall, but decided against it cos we were like all too lazy to walk all the way there. So we settled for TCC, waited for a while to sit inside, where there is air-con and no cigarette smoke. And talked and laughed at everything under the roof like girls would. Its my birthday rite? so i asked if there is any birthday discounts/promotion. Kena said "auntie!" by vonny when i went to her house today duh hahahah.

Front from left: Vonny, Shan. Back, left: Ah fang ah ma, ah mei

With Mighty Joe Young

With rose sth
With her honey drink
With her mint drink
Plus ti-rum-misu in a heart-shaped plate and duno what cake.

Yinny couldnt join us even tho i wanted to postpone the outing till Mon. But here's a pic of crazy her and me in the toilet at PS when we went to eat dat day.

Thank you Father, for these friends. Two of them are yet to know You. Through me Lord, through me work.

2008-01-28T13:38:00.000+08:00

I guess sth happened to the blogskin. Maybe the creator took it down or has been banned from displaying more...not sure how these things work but i'm gonna find out when i'm abit freeer.

until i select another blogskin or create my own then.

2008-01-28T12:40:00.000+08:00

December alone, i attended 2 weddings. One was on Christmas day itself and the other was 4 days later. One i heard my good friend being an MC, the other i was the MC myself. In both weddings, the Lord was thanked. The Christmas one had a Christmas message and a chinese Christian song. The 29th one had a pastor saying grace for the food.

nor,xu,shan,boy,bing, caix,meng @ swiss merchant hotel 25 dec -Bing's oldest bro wedding

Non, daddy w goofy smile,shan @ river city peninsular excelsior hotel - vin's wedding

As MC - tryin to explain the significance of each toast

Yinny was invited to the wedding tgt with her mum, my mummy's friend.

January had been a hectic hectic month and so will all the other months leading up to May. FYP report due on first week march and my experiments only 1/3 done. Lecture presentation on first week March for e&s. DGs on tues. North games day on Fridays. This sem I have 4 examinable subjects as compared to Von who only has 1.

But this has been the time i'm enjoying how to rely on God in all things. My project deadlines, my revision, my fyp equipments, arrangements, my family... its different when there is a personal r/s with the Lord as compared to being self-sufficient and relying on myself.

its : i can do all things thru Him who gives me strength Phil 4:13

Another week is dawn. Aza Aza fightin!

Suzy's 24th Birthday

2007-09-29T17:25:00.000+08:00

Suzy is our FYP mentor and we all like her very much. Her actual name is not Suzy, its Suxiu but duno how come the CPL lab tech training us for furnace called her "suzy suzy". So from then on, we followed. we all addressed her differently in print. Suyin writes her as "Suzzie", Dennis - "Susie (or sth)" and me suzy.
Even funnier. The lab tech's name is Poh Tin (sounds like protein). and Suyin saves her name as "Furnace". Its gonna be a hoot if "furnace" calls her one day.
Sun is her 24th birthday, but we celebrated in advance in sch. We got her a choc fudge cake from swissbake, sarpino's pizza and had a little absolute vodka and jack daniels as forfeit for our games.
we played googles up!, te-te-te-te-te-te!, qing ni gen wo yi qi shu. den the girls went toilet, den the guys lighted the candles den i took photos.
we went je played arcade and i reached home around 130am. Managed to catch the last bus!!

absolute,coke, jack daniels, sprite and ice. amazing..we can get ice in sch...all thanks to dennis:P
Suzy, me and SuyinSarpino's pizza. Wow the spicy chicken is really spicyNo wonder we are all so happy. Good food, great company
I'm included The guys prep-ing for Suzy. The girls decoyed her by going to toilet en-massed. I was kinda stoned so i din get the cue haha, was wondering how come the girls all go toilet. so here i am taking photos of the guys
Seems like its their birthday
Cutie-pie suzy was pleasantly surprised!
Our whole group using the self-timer function. My camera came in handy!

Suzy with the beautiful stalk of single sunflower i bought. Love sunflower

A final shot (more formal). Look at mei sin (beside me) She looks like a vampire! too much to drink...

Pics of here and there

2007-09-13T00:51:00.000+08:00

Pictures say one thousand words.

ExxonMobil 2006. The funnest dude is Cowy!!

Prosafe 2007. Farewell meal at Bali Thai

Prosafe colleagues on the way to JE

Friends for more than 3/4 of my life. Xiu and Hui @ TCC

The lovely babies playing with glow toy

Dad's year of the Jubilee. 50th birthday

Punjabi dresses from India we never got to wear out

Always fun-filled to experiment make-up with nonny. Her creation on my eyes

Cambodia 12 - 22 June 2007

2007-08-05T21:28:00.000+08:00

Our jetstar asia flight was scheduled to leave at 7:05am. In the days leading up to the trip, we gathered much good used clothings to bring to the children. Because we had quite a few 'china bags' of clothings and props, we met at 430 to sort out logistics and check in our baggages.

DAY ONE

Us in the jetstar plane. Surprisingly, the seats are bigger and the leg room more generous than the silk air plane i took last year. the journey is short, 1 hr 45 mins, but kinda turbulence-y.

Cambodia is one hour earlier than us, means we reached phnom penh airport at 8am (spore time 9am). There, we met up with Dr Castro who came to pick us on a mini-bus.

We checked into a budget hotel, but funnily, no shot was taken there. Altogether we stayed in 3 hotels, and they just kept getting better and nicer. We had time to pack up and rest. In the evening, we headed to Dr Castro's house to have dinner, lovingly prepared by his woman sheep. They cooked squid, vegetables and chicken, delicious.

Before we went to the hotel, we were brought to the famous Toul Sleng School, which was turned into a torture chamber for tens of thousands of people suspected of being traitors to the pol pot communist regime. Some of the tortured were foreigners, but cruelly, majority of them were cambodians. Cambodians torturing cambodians, what could be worse?

stylistic shot of the classrooms where torture took place.

I'll stop here for now, the internet connection is cranky and takes half an hour to load 5 pictures.

Long overdue updates

2007-07-30T00:16:00.000+08:00

And thanks bro david heng, my support was raised up to 90%.. this thanks is way overdue, but heartfelt:)

and so i am back to update on some stuff. wanted to start on my cambodia trip, which is way way overdue..got the pictures on the 23jul when i met up with the rest. i still rem what happened den, no worries.

i've been working for the past 2 weeks. on the 12/13, i took over fang as a receptionist at bosch. on the 16th, i started work as a procurement assistant in jurong east, Prosafe offshore pte ltd. Additionally i took up 2 new tuitions = 3 boys from China.

Hardly have time to sleep. so used to working every holiday that i find it weird if i didn't have work to do. some of my peers have started on the fyp already, i'm still not even sure who my mentor is. i wonder if i will get very nervous when i go back to sch and decided to start on my fyp den find that in the lab, all my peers are already into their 5th set of experiments, and possibly starting on the report.

my new tuition boys, one is taking N levels, 17 yrs old, two of them are in sec one, 14 and 16 years old. today i was teaching the sec ones, and i very nearly burst into tears. This is the first time i felt so stressed out giving tuition. their foundation in english is very very weak and they had to do full length sec one comprehensions. And the new english syllabus is really quite crap, it focuses on nouns, pronouns etc, things that we dun learn in our era. we learn vocab, grammar, and the only way i know how to learn english is thru reading. read and read. how am i going to teach them in such a short time before they draw blanks from their eng exam papers?

so helpless in helping them, and they keep talking about other things. i really enjoy talking with them about their school and all their school fights, but it doesnt help them improve. how am i going to teach them what is light years beyond their understanding?

i walked out of their house and called mum, called non, called jie,asking for someone to meet for dinner, for comfort. But nobody's able to make it. so i continued along the way, walking and tinking and toking sometimes to God. den i got some food and began to calm down. den mum and the babies joined me, and i'm just so happy to see the babies.

but hooray! the 17 yr boy is a christian and the two sec ones go to church every sun. Amazing huh

2007-06-29T16:40:00.000+08:00

Dear all,

Haven got the pictures from the cambodian trip, so cannot recall the sequence of events in cambodian. Will update as soon as i get hold of the pics!

2007-06-08T22:00:00.001+08:00

One more thing, i'm so proud of my fren rachel yeo. Despite being in transition between jobs and having to pay for her part-time school fees, she generously supported my fund-raising with $100 from her bonus. Thank the Lord for stretching her faith! i'm sure she will grow... and love to all my supporters, i have reached 80%. Thank u Jesus!

2007-06-08T21:38:00.001+08:00

Oh and something funny to add.

My 3 yr old niece has a naughty habit. she takes my handphone when i'm unaware and sends mms and sms to pple. once she sent 8 mms to ah lai!!! cost me like $4?

today i just got back, left my phone on the sofa, she took it. before long, i see the words 'message sent'. i checked the sent items folder and saw that she has forwarded an sms i typed to a fren this afternoon to ab. below is the email exchange btw me and ab.

me: sorry, my noti niece sent an sms to you wrongly, haha.

AB: wow, your niece's command of english is extraordinary i must say.

me: that was my english. My niece's command of mischief is extraordinary tho :P

2007-06-08T21:01:00.000+08:00

He answers.

have been praying for about 2 weeks regarding whether my cambodia trip should be extended. Emails have been going to and from karen goh and discussing if its feasible to stay another 3 more weeks before her team arrives in cambodia. and as i prayed, i commited my tuition dilemma to the lord and questions on how to survive by myself. prayed for a clear sign.

and a clear sign it is. this afternoon while having lunch with the team, i asked CY if its possible to take a ride from Dr Chatos when he leaves siem reap to head towards kampung thom, which is nearer phnom penh where karen could hook me up with some of her missionary friends. i explained to him that i wanted to extend my trip, and CY told me 'no'. Campus crusade has this policy whereby trippers going with them are to come back with them, there will be no exception. and since if i insisted, it would mean not be submitting to authority, and so, i believe its a very clear sign that the trip on my own should not be extended. maybe God thinks the time is not right yet. Further to that, i came home and told my parents, my dad was like quite relieved me was not gonna stay over there by myself. din know he would be relieved, cos when told him i wanted to extend, he just asked why and left it at dat. my dad always lets me make the decisions and follow thru them.

and so, God answers! 1 prayer item down. But part 2 will be to pray if i should join karen's team and go back to cambodia again when they head down on the 16th july.

i have sinned! have not been entirely truthful about something i spoke to some of my team members today due to a bit of pride. its too long to write it all down, but i know the Lord Jesus has forgiven me of my past, present and future sins. There are some habits of mine i'm not proud of when dealing with people and i pray that esp during the trip, the Lord will constantly give me strength to rely on Him. If i was perfect in everyway, i would ignore God, because there will be the false believe that i can do everything on my own. but because of my imperfections, there are many opportunities to cry out to Him!

my prayer 2 has been about smp-edb scholarship. By His planning and grace, got through the first round of interview and took the 2nd and final round on wed morning. and surprise! at the first interview saw victor quek! pleasant surprise in that strange environment. he's an engineer too, but he's since left the company. Sad..

1st interview was with eric from hr. we spoke at length about many things and he told me he appreciated my candidness.and he did teach me many things, including giving me 2 'IQ' questions. not really IQ but i was taught much.

2nd interview was with a manager. he showed me around the office and we spoke at length about the company, the engineer's job scope and i asked many questions. this manager has a face that cannot be deciphered..he seems happy talking to me, but he never did drop clues about whether i have passed the interview. and now all i can do is pray and wait. God is wonderful! slowly i'm learning to experience His answers to my prayers. Whether or not this scholarship is suitable for me, the semicon industry is good for me, and what to do with joachim's project, one by one i will gradually know:)

So praise ye the Lord! ahhh...i'm still waiting for some pics from geraldine...

2007-06-05T23:03:00.000+08:00

Never, never be discouraged, for discouragement is from the devil.

Praise the Lord! Praise our most glorious Lord! (read revelations to know why He is so wonderfully glorious).

My support raising is up to 70% already with contributions from Serene Zhang and Chong Mian. Praise the Lord! God is very good and generous.

Thank u corrine, june, chongmian, serene:) Thank God!

tml i will be taking my first aid test. hahaha yippee

2007-06-02T00:46:00.000+08:00

Our mother was a butterfly,

we are her little eggs,

Inside us caterpillars lie,

Young things with many legs.

I am a little caterpillar,

Very soft and fat,

I'll change into a chrysalis,

What do you think of that?

I am a little chrysalis,

And very still I lie;

For folded up inside me

Is a little butterfly,

I am the little butterfly,

I want to fly about;

I'm so tired of being here,

Oh, now I'm out! I'm out!

O kind wind, come and fan my wings,

O sunshine, make them dry,

O flower, I come to you! Away,

Away, away I fly.

2007-05-26T01:44:00.000+08:00

I've got a few things to consider.

First of all a thanksgiving. Dear corrine sms-ed me to say that she will support me with $150 for my trip. Praise the Lord.

He is great, so kind and generous to such a worthless person like me, totally undeserved.

i've got an offer to work as a showroom assistant on fri, sat and sun 10am-6pm. But den i will be missing church! are there services on other days of the week? today i took my bike out to recee "The people's bible church", i'm supposed to mt my group there on tues. on the way i saw a few churches, and i was tinking how really dilapidated churches are on weekdays. like how come there are no services, how come God's pple only worship Him on sundays?

i signed up for SMP-EDP, a programme that the economic development board invested $8-million to train microelectronics engineers out of MSE, EEE and such students. i know my results are way below expectations, but always felt that never try never know. The benefits of this programme: a $1080/mth stipend for the whole of year 4 of studies and a guranteed one year bond with a semicon com. This industry is really prolific at the moment.

but would have to do a final year project on microe, and take 5 major prescribes on it. up till now i have no idea what i would like to specialise in, and even tho i do not mind microe, but was not actively pursuing it. but this time its like the path is there for me to choose, so i took a chance.

i'm shortlisted for the first interview this coming mon. but thinking of my results, my chances look pretty slim, but of course, i know for sure, with God, nothing is impossible. The thing that is quite bothering me is that i've already accepted joachim's biomaterials fyp. but no need to worry to that extend cos not even sure if i will get thru this first interview.

as for y-comm, sorry to jon for the delay in coming up with the articles. as what ps eddy has said, the best if as a team we can research on the seven sins before writing the article. it has been like personal research and opinions so far. i have told jon that 3 june is too unrealistic the release date, my slowness not counted, but rather the newsletter design will take ages. it takes the designer to know this.

tml non and me going to church of singapore to listen to benny ho. Exciting.

for my tuition kids, i really love them. they're smart and willing to learn and better disciplined than myself. but their results no improvement!! their mum must be super disappointed in me. but i try my best to impart to them lessons out of textbook. it takes time to see the effort. God bless them.Me bringing them out to watch shrek on 7th june. pray for conversational evangelism with them.

1,2nd june overnight camp with the cambodian team. till now duno wat flight we are taking! must make sure my stamina is well trained in the days leading up to the trip as i'm prone to get food poisoned and stuff. 2 more pre-believers are joining us Praise the Lord!

4,5,6 june will be at red cross society attending the SFA(standard first aid) course. always wanted to learn first aid and cpr, nv gotten down to it. now trying to get the certification. Rem to make payment by 30may.

oh yes children's camp mtg this sunday at 130pm gardens! so looking forward to a camp after the hiatus from 2004. wilfred is the camp comm. toking about him, i've broached the subject of not printing our ycomm coming issue in color so that the additional $ could be passed on to help support floorball for christ or other support raising youths. so glad so glad to see a number of our youths raising support while serving as project servants in yfc. lovely!! its great, and i'm so looking forward to working and giving to these youths. sad that i can only support elene a little after all the support letters she send me every month. in another year elene.

what else...this blog is like my notebook. everything i need to rem i will just jot down here, so i see it i rem. because my laptop will always be on my table, but my physical notebooks each disappear as soon as i jot things down in them. nv changed this bad habit of mine - slipshoddyness.

toking about my laptop, its been serving me really well these past 3 years. only re-formatted twice, nv went for servicing. throwing away the warranty card wasn't so terrible after all. it survived the 3 years warranty period and is still goin.

when there are things to do, there seems like many things. when there is nothing, i can literally hear the mosquito buzzing in my ear.

tml i will go for yf!!! been telling this to myself for ages

2007-05-22T23:03:00.000+08:00

I made delicious brownie in 20 mins flat. The ingredients are (from left): Self-raising flour, 2 eggs, Van houten cocoa, vanilla essence, scs butter, sugar and a pinch of salt. That simple. throwing everything into the mixing bowl took 3 mins. Mixing took 7 mins. and baking the brownie took a mere 13 mins. it should prob be anywhere from 8 to 10 mins, but kiasu me used 13 mins to bake. and u knw why its so fast?

This baby here is the secret. The stack cooker. I spread the batter into the second rack, put on the lid and left it in the microwave (yes u got it right, my lousy old mv at home) for 13 mins.amazing invention. tomorrow i am cooking brocolli with mushroom and prawns, and still researching on what kinda fish to cook in it for dinner. its great for me, cos right now i still haven overcome my fear of igniting the stove. find out more from me about this amazing product. cool

2007-05-22T01:13:00.000+08:00

Check this out!: THE YOGHURT SHIVERS

homemade video of my nephew kean-en by my sister shannon. i dun have the vid in my com, see from this:

http://www.doubleexaggerationbynnon.blogspot.com/

Pictures

2007-05-16T18:01:00.000+08:00

First ever impromptu outing with the crusaders. we met up at cineleisure to watch the 'protege' and that's how i kinda had a crush on daniel wu haha. the guy in grey long sleeves in the front row is jason, my team leader for the projects with grace haven, which nv did materialise even tho the team had met a couple of times to discuss last semester. somehow its 'on hold'. not sure if its ever gonna move on, but i would love to be part of it, bringing love to children.

last row fourth from the left, that pretty girl is my dg mate, shuying. and beside jason is jon, my team-mate from meta. My team-mates are always catching me sleeping, den they always worried about whether i'm sick or wat haha. the rest of the pple i'm ashamed to say i dun really know by name.

One sat some time ago, NYJC had its 30th anniversary celebrations.my clique went back to have fun and fun we had! we all egged each other on to try the hammer game: the tall tall thing that has a bell on the top, player uses a sledge hammer to impact a steel plate causing a metal ball to rise as high as possible...ya u get the picture. and ken was the only one who hit the bell! kudos..

the words "you get the picture" reminds me of 'Forever Floyd' that cook show chef. he is one hilarious hilarous cook. see his shows to know.

Introducing my new fren DURA. Jie who owned a 21-speed bike in her hay days, says this is prob ab 18-speed one. i duno. i just know it gets me everywhere (within the vincinity of hg, upper sgoon and maybe bishan? i haven tried there yet) in a jiffy. i'm still gettin used to handling it on the road. but i thank God there's a new mode of transport, even tho at this moment i cant afford a car:)

and there are more photos from the boot camp and the vaccination we took on monday. geraldine hasnt posted them up yet.

yest i went to have ben and jerry's with rizal and he kept laughing at the back of my hair. but we had a really fun time talking about everything. and yes that includes religion. he laughs at the idea of turning his back on his religion and becoming a Christian. and daniella always becomes very agitated and angry when we tok about God right at the stretch of Lor low koon when he sends me home.

i'm supposed to look for a pump to make balloon sculptures during team mtg tml. where did i leave my pump? cant rem cos its been like a year since i used it.

i need to get out my support newsletters soon.

love, shanley

He is there for me

2007-05-15T00:47:00.000+08:00

And so its been 2 weeks minus 2 days since my last paper. (Aha! i just discovered an empty drawer i can put my stuff in..haha sudden discoveries do make pple very happy)

the days passed in a flash. i haven got a vacation job like all other vacations past, but i've never felt betta. Even though currently i aint got no income other than one tuition, but days have been filled with preparing for a mission trip to cambodia, mtg my team mates for boot camp, team meetings, injections. Like today, we mass drawn blood and had mass flu+typhoid injection. its quite hilarious with 10 or so of us all gathered in that tiny room. den each one taking turns to draw blackish red blood, den queueing up, with a doctor on one side and a nurse on the other side, simultaneously giving the left arm the flu, and the right arm the typhoid jab. its so factory-production like. after the jabs, each of us mechanically walked away clutching our arms. all the while matthias was playing silly games like 'coffee or tea'? den davina joined in with 'aunt mary', den eliza had sth else silly to add. its totally funny!

and days are filled with doing housework, just packing and packing and picking up after the babies and folding clothes. wash clean and disinfect. and swimming. Gone are the days of dating, i almost forgot the experience, but photos of past dates kept refreshing my memories. Unwittingly or otherwise trying to keep the memories alive, i naively thought that feelings would not change in the span of these few months.. but how wrong i was. How entirely over-confident I was and how i over-estimated you.

so recently we met at ps and it was just like how we were dating last time. The way we spoke to each other and the places where we visited, we or rather i, like to visit museums rite? and there we were at the museum, looking thru each of the set-ups half in amazement at why the govt would spend millions on this building while just paying my dad the minimum wages of a voluntary worker.

and you cut ur hair, just like last time. and u wore the blue shirt and the black pants and the sports shoe, as if time had not changed. and den we ate at carl's junior, and u ordered everything, and fetched the refills and offered to pay, just like last time.

but u din offer to send me home as you would have. and den we split up just after the gantry gates of the mrt. u knw the part where i taking the nel would turn left, and you taking the nsl would walk straight ahead. and we split up there.

and of cos i din dare to bring up the subject while we were tgt, din know how to. and thru sms we did. and den u confirmed, u needed more time to get back to where we were last time, your feelings had faded.

yes i was upset. yes, disappointed. i dared not tell pple (except eileen and ll) why we broke up in the first place. but i told God. i asked Him and i made that choice. I din know how to handle it properly at that time, i guess i hurt you deeply. For that i'm truly sorry.

within the short span of being away from this relationship, i've come to realise how i should have handled the hurt i was facing when i was with you. i tink i know now. with lotsa prayer and patience and love. I will learn how to handle my hurts and another's hurt in my next relationship. my strength will come from Him the nxt time. I have plenty of love to give.

The future of love is not clear to me. but i have a very clear trust in Him to provide for me a person just for me. i told you i am moving on. and indeed i am. i am moving on to rely on Him to provide for me.

its been wonderful being with you. i remember the good times and i oso recalled how we sinned against each other. but life goes on and i ask ur forgiveness as i have forgiven you, and God has, the both of us.

Captions of what i feel here and there. Using of choice words is for this blog. but with the Lord, all words just spill out.

In moments where i cant share with anyone, not even my most beloved and wise mother, i'm entirely glad, the Lord does not forsake and is ever ready to hear. Praise the Lord. Rom 8:28

and in moments when i feel i have maxed out my stoopidity credit, He is there, to forgive and comfort.

The reason even though sometimes i feel depressed and unhappy,as with all humans, but i bounce back and live, its because He is there.

Brains brains where art thou

2007-05-02T22:55:00.000+08:00

i dunno why its always like the last 4 hours before my paper that i suddenly become focused.

while the rest of my time i would spend looking at pictures of india and taiwan, the fabulous scenery, the little street details and the children i could help reach out to, to be a part of. i just want to spread my wings and fly there, to be there again, to be at different places, immersed in being with different pple. I wan to work overseas. its very me to gravitate to knowing, learning about new things, even tho in everyday life i may not pay much attention to the things gg on around.

is there sth wrong with me? i had one week to study for this last paper, but i started one hour ago. and the funny thing is, i planned to start so late. cos i know that the rest of my week my brains will be floating around in other countries and on other stuff.

i always tell myself i know myself very well, i knw that if my brains is taking a vacation, it will take one million packets of chocolates to entice it back to its cage. i subscribe to the "if my brain is not there, there will not be my heart either". is that a lazy excuse to not try? i'm not a not-tryer, so where does that leave me?

every 5 years, my opinions change. and dats dangerous.

i'm oso wondering what the end of the exams spell. Will he make any move at all, after what we have discussed over email? or is it over, really over? Does it only leave memories, nothing more than that? will we still be like strangers, after such an intimate frenship?

I dunno what i will do if he doesnt do sth. It seems like its always me initiating.

Bill Withers - Lean on Me

2007-04-26T22:53:00.001+08:00

This is not my favourite version by sarah reaves-philips, but its my second favourite. somemore the video doesnt show some cheesy frenship photos. Great

Lean on me!

Lean on Me

2007-04-25T01:42:00.000+08:00

Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

Please swallow your pride
If I have things you need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you don't let show

Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

If there is a load you have to bear
That you can't carry
I'm right up the road
I'll share your load
If you just call me

So just call on me brother, when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you'd understand
We all need somebody to lean on

Lean on me when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
Till I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on
Lean on me...

Another fantastic african-american song. The original version was sung by bill withers, but his version is v v slow. The version i liked best is the one sung by the teacher and students in the movie. its a 1989 production, but it plays on scv.

I'm trying to find the video clip of the school singing. aint the lyrics sweet?

so dear frens:

Please swallow your pride
If I have things you need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you don't let show

lean on me, when you'r not strong
i'd be your fren
i 'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
Till i'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

So little time

2007-04-22T23:27:00.000+08:00

So Man u is still 3 pts ahead on the leaderboard. So funny Chelsea oso scored a draw. i mean if i was a Chelsea fan, i would be so furious. Such a very good opportunity to overtake man u and they din. I mean if i was a Chelsea fan stayin in chelsea, i would jus uproot and move to sunderland or sth.

like the above snippet concerns me at all. anyway, this afternoon my dad made me and sis a bowl of noodles each. Its kinda rare so sometimes i feel loved when he accedes to my request to make lunch for me. On top of that, he does not jus leave the noodles in the pot for us to scoop, he puts them nicely into bowls, garnished with spring onions, prawns and eggs. yummy.

(k doesnt look so yummy in the pic but in real taste, its great. look at how the prawn invites you to savour it with its big black eyes!)

and so i meant to put up this portrait of myself for quite a while since i came back from India. I wished i had the talent to self-portrait it, but no, this was done by my india roomie. obviously its not 100% like me, but you can make out the semblance enough to know its me, like see! how auntie the portrait looks like. for the record i did not sit in front of her for 4 hours to get this done, while i was napping, she took my camera and drew from the camera. how talented can one be, i ask. how can one be good in studies and fantastic in art all at the same time? i had the portrait framed up. Many thanks to Veronica. rem her name.

yet another day gone.

So little time so much to do

I'd rather spend my days with you

So little time so much to do

I'd like to spend one day with you

And if that day is not enough

Maybe we can stay in touch

Cos i'm not crazy bout tml

For tml..never comes!

I missed out..

2007-04-22T13:28:00.000+08:00

Where'd you go? i miss you so. Seems like its been forever that you've been gone...Please come back home...

i love the beginning of this song from fort minor, the part where the drums blend in with the piano. But somehow as the song progress, it starts to sound repetitive. i still like it anyway.

Another song i'm hearing: Grace Kelly. you-tube it, super cute song. love Mika.

yupz i am supposed to be studying for my hrm and biz law and 3001 and and and...psycho- the power pack 4 exam papers in two-days. non pasted some student's prayer thing on her book shelf, everytime i pass by it would have a glance at it. recently i decided to read what it says:

(urg, abit the dusty)

Make me uncomfortable o God
Make me uncomfortable about what i'm doing with the mind you have given me...
About studying too little and too sloppily
About memorising facts rather than seeking truth and knowledge
About working for grades rather than for the excitement of learning.

Make me uncomfortable about my future hopes..
about wanting college as a means toward gaining a better-paying job,
more security and social prestige
rather than toward fufiling your highest purpose for me

Disturb me, O God
Until i sense that my true calling as a student is:

To grow into the broadest, deepest, most vital person possible;
To seize how this awesome opportunity for searching out wisdom;
To find joy in reading and grappling and grasping;
To live richly and responsibly;
To be constantly grateful for the capacity, creativity and courage that are given to me....freely by thee.

Amen.

i'm aware of how the system in singapore works. We are all being moulded into the same cookie-cutter shapes. Beginning from Primary School.

Those kids who are having trouble in primary sch, trouble in understanding concepts, trouble in reading even. Each year they are forced to be promoted, promoted even tho they could only understand half of what was taught in primary 1, a quarter of things taught in p2 and maybe a sixth or less of wat transversed in p3. but nonetheless, for the sake of these reasons:

1) parents not wanting to 'throw face'
2) parents not knowing they have an option
3) schools not wanting to affect their moe rankings

they are not retained, which would have been much more beneficial for them, but are rising up one level each year, only to have their confidence dipping each year, as they are streamed into EM3, then normal acad, den normal tech. It is a blow to their confidence i tell you.

in fact these students are very talented- they may be future business pple or designers and artists. but right now, they dun belong anyway. they are hopeless in achieving the academic standards that singapore requires of them. They have no other choice, no other avenues to pursue their talents, but continue to let their pride, their egos be battered by the system that they are fossiled into.

How can they grow into the broadest, deepest, most vital person possible ??

For years i thot the only way to defy this exam-crazed society is to not mug like crazy without understanding, just achieve enough for me to get certain grades for me to get to the next level, exam smartness. So i study without understanding, all the while thinking "exams are stupid! they dun test how much you know, but rather how much u can memorise and regurgitate! i'd rather work more, gain more experience and perform well at work den get good grades and prove to be useless at work!"

ya and so i worked all my holidays and gained much experience..like a blue collared worker i have worked as a engineering assistant, cashier, telemarketer, surveyor, lab assistant, procurement assistant, data entry/filing assistant, tution teacher and what not in the span of 3 years.

but den, i realised i was a fool.

Having worked so much i should have a sizeable amount in my bank, but where did ALL that money go to?? (ok, this is a deviation from the subject).

I was a fool because i was actually being sucked into the system which i was trying to run away from. I was slowly epitomising the evil system in my life.

You see, the system wanted to churn out brainless, lifeless robots which are cookie-cutter moulds for each other. I thot i was clever not to study mechanically, like what the system required. I spent half my life trying to defy the system and doing all sorts of other things.

But you know wat?

I missed growing up into the broadest, deepest, most vital person possible.
I missed out seeking truth and knowledge.
I missed out finding joy in reading and grappling and grasping.

That is exactly what the evil system is stopping all of us from doing.

Have a look at the student's prayer on top again. Some parts of it will probably speak to you. What have you missed out?

Shootings

2007-04-17T23:02:00.000+08:00

Another shooting in America. Wonder what's up with students of that country.So much hate and violence. So many hate crimes.

3002-- rizal says all the eqns are given, nv see the past exam papers meh? hiya i just wish i can see things as easily as him. yea most of the eqns will be given, but if dun understand wat they stand for also no use.

stressed~~

2007-04-15T22:26:00.000+08:00

Boys Don't Cry Lyrics (Plumb)

You sit there on the couch
Sipping your scotch and ice
You turn the TV on
And tune me out again

So what would you say to me
If you could talk to me
You could ask anything
I wouldn't lie

But you're okay with this
Damaging awkwardness
So I'll just play it safe
And keep it inside

'Cause boys don't cry

I used to hold your hand
So tight there was no question
But now even when you're near
I've never felt so alone

So what would you say to me
If you could talk to me
You could ask anythingI wouldn't lie

If you just stand beside me
I'll keep you in my life
Tell me how much you love me
And I'll be just fine
Don't be afraid of me

So what would you say to me
If you could talk to me
You could ask anythingI wouldn't lie
But you're okay with this
Damaging awkwardness
So I'll just play it safe
And keep it inside

'Cause boys don't cry

My england de-proved

2007-04-13T23:34:00.000+08:00

i just proof-read my entry. and i realised my england has de-proved by leaps and bounds. i should start reading more again.

Hello

2007-04-13T22:37:00.000+08:00

posted last i since while a Been. Read those words backwards. Davince inverted all the letters. I'm not so bo liao at the moment.

Countdown 6 more days to my first paper, hip hip hurray! seriously, i quite enjoy exam periods - just means no sch. not dat i go to sch very often as it is, just dat in the period b4 exams i have legitimate reasons not to be around in sch

toking about exams, i found a new feeling. yesterday i took a 3002 test for uddin's part. i was studying and studyin den i realised i cannot finish studyin! so i studied tutorial instead. know wat? the test was ALL from tutorial questions. and the feeling i got was "oh no Lord, why din i study tutorial earlier??!!?" dats quite new to me. cos usually i dun reallly study too hard for tests and exams but this time i wanted to do abit better, and i did study but study wrong things!! does anyone know wat i mean? dat feeling?!? could have done well for the paper but din. but i'm not unduely worried, cos i just know He will pave a way.

cos recently i got Joachim's final year project, that's a thanksgiving. His projects are vastly popular, we had to hand up a short write-up just for him to select which students he was taking. so in the end, he released 22 fyp titles, and within like half hour of release, all but 2 titles were taken up. my fren had to call me and tell me to literally snatch up one of the last 2 title! haha thanks Liling so much...i just came back from tuition, not at my terminal, den so fast the titles are gone. at least i had a choice la huh...haha!

but even if i din get joachim's project, even if i got the most un-understandable arabic sounding fyp title, even if i get the worst, nuttiest prof, i just know that i can trust the Lord to give me the best, help me through.

on a side note, i watched a show, and nothing about the show stuck wit me accept this particular thot: if u r nt willin to sacrifice a bit of urself 4 a person, it jus shows u dun love him enuff. i need to re-think my past and future relationships abit.

i listened to this song called 'boys dun cry' by plumb. its a really emotive song/singer. there's a indie movie by the same title. the true (albeit hollywood-dramatised) about TB. the story about this girl-guy just got me v hard. and i wonder why there are such hatred and intolerance in this world. i cannot agree with her actions, but no one warrants death from such pure hatred. No one made in God's image deserve such beastly treatment. and den there's GA and den there's MS...

i'm going to inner mongolia from 10th to 24th June. Wei wei is supposed to go wit me, but she pulled out. I love her still anyway..

My 22nd birthday was quite memorable. i received a treat from my frens and dad, and two presents.

My JC frens selecting the seafood at the coffeshop, den at void deck we played polar bear (as usual), cut cake. Thanks so much.

Had pizza with Rizal and the sweet dude gave me a kappa bag, its so unlike my style but dats precisely the reason i like it, cos if i din get it frm ya, i wld never have bought it for myself:) And had yoshinoya with daniella and dat dude gave me a nodding toy, that toy i like but dun wana buy cos of $ haha. so thanks dudes!! those guys are great to chat with:)

and of course the lovely lianli brought me to eat a korean meal at bugis. yummylicious food really! and treated me to a bean holiday movie. Thanks gal!!

i'm gonna be a spiritual multiplier next semester, meaning i will be leading a group of girls for bible discussion. its gonna be a faith-stretchin experience, quite exciting and yet intimidating at the same time. i pray my faith will go up one step with this faith step i'm taking for the new academic year:)

other than these matters, jie has moved into her new home for about 2 weeks le ba! this is one cool thing. nonny has moved out around 90% of her belongings into her new room and yesh, i do enjoy being alone in my room not having to share the oxygen with her for the better part of the day. its way overdue, but nonetheless, i'm still really thankful to the Lord!

so the official number is final - ALL of us minus one (dad, mum, jie, kor, me and the 2 babies) turned into red-eyed monsters. the sole brave surviving human is non other than nonny. man, she is hygienic!! hahah.. the latest victims were kor and jie. they were not spared the torture - because the super infector (May-en baby) was staying with them over the last weekend. the vicious cycle never ends, but surprisingly the babies were the ones who recovered the fastest! amazing... they get infected the first and they recover the fastest...

what else...hmmm wat else... i do have so many things to write. i cant wait to document on my mongolia trip. for that i need to raise support, i pray the Lord show me who to raise this amount from. Had i known wei wei not going, i would have chosen to go to east asia instead. wonder if that is still a viable option? Because the prog is v different. i need to know what the Lord is going to teach me from this trip.

ok anything else? generally i am a happy soul these days, but i have been sleeping real late for the past few nights. studying.. so i gotta tune my bio clock back.

Jia you shan!!

Red-eyed monster's post

2007-04-08T11:02:00.000+08:00

Here's my new entry!

"Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like no-one's watching.
Sing like no-one's listening.
Live like there's no tomorrow..."

I've got the red-eye monster. Currently studying for exams which is coming up real soon.

Learn from the ant

2007-02-13T09:58:00.000+08:00

I'm struggling with an issue deep in my heart.

i'm trying to ignore it by doing my school work.

it works, but it comes back time and again... until i can like throw myself away and say "nah God, Yours. Please bother about it for me, thank you very much" (" Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for i am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light" the Lord says in Mt 11:29)

Praise Jesus the Lord!

Listen to Proverbs:

"Go to the ant, thou sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise.. "

"How long will thou sleep, O sluggard? when wilt thou arise out of thy sleep?"

"Yet a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep (rest), and poverty will come on you like a bandit..."

Proverbs 6

wise words from the Wisest Lord.

2007-01-28T21:19:00.000+08:00

MORPHOSIS was a one-and-half days program. We met Ros @ her ParkView Square office, the brown majestic looking building behind raffles hospital in clarke quay. After which we proceed to GateView office, the two buildings that look as flat as paper from afar.

Fri- 730 to 1230 am. Sat- 9 to 1030pm

My favourite was the 'shouting down bad wolves' session.

Shannon impersonated YMH, SZK,HD and Harley Davidson sounds. I will post it on multiply soon!

and during our sharing session, since she was the youngest, she addressed the very entertaining speaker as 'uncle gordon' and said he reminded her of a wolf. The whole floor 'peng san' with laughter!

Sharon and Ros

Ros and Yeo Meng

<---Ros and Non

Ros and I

2007-01-25T23:28:00.000+08:00

Tort: legal term that means civil wrong, as opposed to a criminal wrong, that is recognized by law as grounds for a lawsuit.

In Biz Law tutorial today:

"Shanley! What are some of the requirements for exercising standard duty of care? "

He pauses for a split of a second and says: "Well if you are not interested to answer, i will mark you absent!"

"Sir, I want to answer. ..But i do not have the answer!" (at least off my head)

*Georgie and class laughs*

Earlier on before Biz Law..

3 girls were walking behind me on the way to class. 2 of the girls were wearing the exact outfit - black plain top + denim skirt. They both have flowing long hair.

Shorter girl in blackshirtdenimskirt: " Aiya duno wat he going to ask again today!! i'm very stressed leh!"

Taller girl in blackshirtdenimskirt: " Ya lo! I also very stressed!"

End of class...

Georgie says: " Here's something to think about" (he tried to explain it in the simplest way he knew. Afterall, he taught in Bahamas Uni for the past duno how many years)

"Does someone have a choice of not entering into a relationship with another party which entails a duty of care? Contrast with being in a contractual agreement where two parties decide to be in a partnership. Ok, lesson's over. See you next week."

2007-01-10T16:04:00.000+08:00

As you read, refuse to let the scene be familiar. Let its reality shock you and break your heart.- boy meets girl, joshua harris
The face that Moses had begged to see-- was forbidden to see-- was slapped bloody(Exodus 33:19-20). The thorns that God had sent to curse the earth's rebellion now twisted around his brow...
"On your back with you!" One raises a mallet to sink in the spike. But the soldier's heart must continue pumping as he readies the prisoner's wrist. Someone must sustain the soldier's life minute by minute for no man has this power on his own. Who supplies breath to his lungs? Who gives energy to his cells? Who holds his molecules together? Only by the Son do "all things hold together" (Colossians 1:17). The victim wills that the soldier live on-- he grants the warriors continued existence. The man swings.
As the man swings, the Son recalls how he and the Father first designed the medial nerve of the human forearm-- the sensations it would be capable of. The design proves flawless--the nerves perform exquisitely. "Up you go!" They lift the cross. God is on display in his underwear and can scarcely breathe.
But these pains are a mere warm-up to his other and growing dread. He begins to feel a foreign sensation. Somewhere during this day an unearthly foul odor began to waft, nor around his nose, but his heart. He feels dirty. Human wickedness starts to crawl upon his spotless being--the living excrement from our souls. The apple of his Father's eye turns brown with rot.
His Father! He must face his Father like this!
From heaven the Father now rouses himself like a lion disturbed, shakes his mane, and roars against the shriveling remnant of a man hanging on a cross. Never has the Son seen the Father look at him so, never felt even the least of his hot breath. But the roar shakes the unseen world and darkens the visible sky. The Son does not recognize these eyes.
"Son of Man! Why have you behaved so? YOu have cheated, lusted, stolen, gossiped--murdered, envied, hated, lied. You have cursed, robbed, overspent, overeaten--fornicated, disobeyed, embezzled, and blasphemed. Oh, the duties you have shirked, the children you have abandoned! Who has ever so ignored the poor, so played the coward, so belittled my name? Have you ever held your razor tongue? What a self-righteous, pitiful drunk--you, who molest young boys, peddle killer drugs, travel in cliques and mock your parents. Who gave you the boldness to rig elections, foment revolutions, torture animals, and worship demons? Does the list never end! Splitting families, raping virgins, acting smugly, playing the pimp--buying politicians, practising extortion, filming pornography, accepting bribes. You have burned down buildings, perfected terrorist tactics, founded false religions, traded in slaves--relishing each morsel and bragging about it all. I hate, loathe these things in you! Disgust for everthing about you consumes me! Can you not feel my wrath?"
Of course the Son is innocent. He is blamelessness itself. The Father knows this, But the divine pair have an agreement, and the unthinkable must now take place.
Jesus will be treated as if personally responsible for every sin ever commited.
The Father watches as his heart's treasure, the mirror-image of himself, sinks drowning into raw, liquid sin. Jehovah's stored rage against humankind from every century explodes in a single direction.
"Father! Father! Why have you forsaken me?!"
But heaven stops its ears. The Son stares up at the One who cannot, who will not, reach down or reply.
The Trinity had planned it. The Son endured it. The Spirit enabled him. The Father rejected the Son whom he loved. Jesus, the God-man from Nazareth, perished. The Father accepted his sacrifice for sin and was satisfied. The Rescue was accomplished. when God weeps, steven estes, joni eareckson

Kanyakumari Part II

2007-01-05T00:12:00.000+08:00

Was supposed to continue on the 20th, but apparently my 'tomorrow' never came until today.

This is the school we visited on the first day to commision the kitchen. Creative camera angle by our affable Indian host Charly.
The goats running around the village like to pretend to be statues.
Colachel. The initial village we were supposed to work with. The windmill is a juxtaposition to the poor village. But they provide the cheap electricity for the villages to operate their favourite pasttime of watching tamil shows.
The children love to pose. Either trying to get infront of the camera themselves or trying to push their younger siblings up front.

The lovable children again. I really like kids.

Memories of India

2006-12-19T18:41:00.000+08:00

I was in southern India from Tues 5th to Tues 12th. On Thursday nite i had an uneasy sleep after having a malaria pill, from Friday onwards my stomach could not tolerate even water. Due to the nature of house building, and the very strong sun, i had to drink a lot of water. but by Friday morn, i was gushing out all the water i took, so much so that i tink i could wet an entire person standing in front of me by the second gush. That nite, i hallucinated, very uncomfortably, that i was carrying bricks continuously to and fro in the hot sun, and wondering why the work was endless.

The next morn at 4am my local host Charly and team leader Denise accompanied me to visit a doctor because i continued vomitting. At the first '24hour hospital', which was actually a run down clinic, the doctor refused to open the door even though Charly knocked so loud it woke the doctor's neighbour who came out to stare at us. We had to take a tuk-tuk down to another 'hospital' some distance away, where we waited half an hour for the lady doctor to wake up and get dressed in her sari. The doctor prescribed two injections for me, which was efficiently and gently administered by a nurse. This is my first thanksgiving. The hygiene and care was unexpected for such a village hospital. I went back and had the most restful sleep, woke up and had fresh coconut juice. When i was sober, my teammates were "are u sure you took an injection here??". All i can say is I'm grateful for the experience and recovery.

My second thanksgiving is for journey mercies so easily taken for granted in Singapore. We travel from our 0 star hotel to the Kootapanai village every day,one hour each way in a small bus. I observed that the favourite past time of all indian drivers is the use of their honks, every 100 meters or so. However, the most treacherous journey is the way from nagercoil to kerala to trivadrum the airport. On the final day in India,we set off at 4pm for the airport to avoid getting caught in a very likely jam due to the one way dirt road to Trivadrum. Slightly half hour into the journey, we were caught in a lightning storm, visibility is 0, all dark. I msged my mum to pray for us, i know she disseminates prayer requests to a few of her close prayer warriors and in the bus, i felt like there were angels carrying it, and we were sailing along the roads, about 60km/hr. I mean i've heard about pple having harrowing experiences, and i am sure this is not considered very harrowing, but unless one is in such a situation, where one is not in control, the only way is to fully believe tt He will see me through. and He did as always.

The 'Miami beach' of the east. Both 0 star hotels we stayed in was beside the ocean. Fishermen taking a leisurely stroll along the beach.

The main livelihood. When the killer waves came crashing in, many of such boats which line up the beach were destroyed. I din bring my camera along to the work site, if i did i would have captured a scene where a few restaurant owners bidded for large catches. in a pavillion, boxes to demarcate the catches were drawn with sand and the rest. owners sounded like they are chanting when they bidded.

The first day we did not start on the construction work immediately. We were brought to a village school, whereby horrors of horrors(or surprise of surprise), we were the guests of honour and made to sit right in the middle of the school assembly. Then we listened to three tamil speeches and alot of cheers and laughing and claps from the pupils. Towards the end, we finally understood that the previous Habitat team built a kitchen where free meals were prepared for the poor and we were there to 'commission' the kitchen.

My team and the kitchen behind us. -2040pm -will continue tml.

Sponsorship

2006-12-19T17:31:00.000+08:00

Has been nearly a week since i came back from Incredible India!

Nov 12
i received an email about a humanitarian trip to India, specifically Kanyakumari, to continue in the effort to build houses for the tsunami affected 2 years after the catastrophe.

Nov 20
after some phone/email correspondence, the air tickets were booked and i was getting ready to finish up attachment work. The criteria for such trips is that each group has to raise a minimum of S$6000 for the building materials.

Nov 26
Initially,a very generous member of the team, aunty Mandy, decided that she would come up with that amount first, due to the very short period of time to fund raise. Found out that it was not feasible. Began to write to a few organisations like YEP, NTU and to fellow colleagues @ attachment. However, for most organisations, they will need at least up to a month and certain criterias to be met before they award sponsorships. I was tinking would i have to come up with the sponsorship money myself?? I prayed and committed the amount to the Lord, just knowing that for sure He will provide.@ the same time, wrap up for attachment work is ongoing, super busy! Finally, msged Esther Kiu to disseminate my email to the young adults she know.

Nov 28-Dec 2
Within 2 days, my first sponsorship came in from a colleague whom i barely knew for 5 months! the second sponsor is someone i did not even know initially. the way God works, wat can i say, just unexpected and more than i imagined. My third sponsor, came from a very lovely church fren.

Dec4
One day before i board the plane, of the amount i was looking to raise, God provided 35%. I sent one more email before i left, fully trusting that the fund raising is not a problem in His hands.

Dec 5
My plane sets off at 8:10pm. I took half day leave to finish last minute packing. I received yet another contribution from a lovely church mate which brought the total to 85%. So God provided 85% of what i asked for before i left.

Dec 17
A third lovely church mate rounded up the sponsorship to 100% with his contributions. Lesson learnt: What is money to God? He provides in such a way that i din have to worry watsoeva:)

Thanks to the angels: estherkiu.junqi.rosalindhowe.carson.corrine.charissa&mum.benkoe.

India, Kanyakumari.

2006-12-18T00:48:00.000+08:00

Children of Kanyakumari. ("Nat. Geog. moments")

Before and After

2006-10-08T14:45:00.000+08:00

To get myself going on cleaning my room, i had to have a certain kind of motivation. I need to be challenged. i would have come up with a game to play. To Shanley: "Gimme about 2 hours to get my area spruced up. Definition of spruced up: .Pack up table.Clean table with disinfectant tissues.Fold clothes and put into cupboard. change bedsheet/pillowcase. Magic Clean floor.Clean fan.Clean guitar. Additional items not mentioned. In no way are these tasks strictly to be done in the above order. After 2 hours up, no more touching of anything, game over.

memories of Taiwan

2006-06-20T22:44:00.000+08:00

Number 6th day since i landed in spore. was initially quite apprehensive to travel in a tour group cos of the famous 'aunties and uncles' who dominate tours. but in the end, my funniest memories derived from them! also, half my group comprised of young people.

we arrived at the airport at 610am, flight is 820. pw's parents sent us there and his father is very funny! like holding our hands and asking us to take care, like we are still kids. kept telling pw wat to do - put non slip mat on the bath tub, dun buy 'precious stones' etc. parents always tink their children haf no common sense haha. but its always good to be reminded.

we took a video of the take off. the plane progressively ascended layer after layer of clouds, til i couldnt see the islands below.

China airlines offered great food! tt's baby abalone. on the return trip, had raw salmon. nv tasted such fresh salmon. the main was egg and baked salmon. some fruits and a delectable pudding. duno heard from who flight food sucked, not in this case

arrival in chiang kai sheik airport. nothing compared to changi. i'm tired cos the flight was kinda uncomfortable, my jeans too tight, no circulation on my legs. lesson learnt.

our 1st stop was to the world renowned tapei 101. its the tallest building to date, and really spacious inside. but the prices are wicked, even supermarket items are 50% more ex. the supermart is called jason's market, beautiful.

in the afternoon we ate at Tie Mu Zhen, a mongolian bbq meal. what i did was picked out raw chicken, beef and added my own seasoning (garlic, sugar, soya sauce). after which i brought my bowl to the chef and he would cook the food on this humongous hot plate, quite yummy. the rest of the food provided by the restaurant was way below par, which began my incessant complaints against taiwan street and restaurants food for the rest of the trip.

at the famous shilin night market. had this v sweet snack, forgot the name. sugar coated strawberry and cherry tomatoes. as i was walking along the street, sum rain water from an overhead canvas dripped onto the snack so i threw it away. 2 sweet too. shilin isnt much, just v crowded shopping is not good. pw and i had our 1st whiff of smelly tofu, he nearly fainted. i wanted to try, he refused. kinda pity.

received taiwanese signal on my phone

tts the famous war memorial shrine. not much to behold cos we couldnt even go in.

alot of our time was spent in the bus, appreciating the excellent driving skillls of the driver and laughing at the ridiculously funny hokkien jokes courtesy of freddy our tour guide.

the famous yeliu rock formations. most of them look like mushrooms, some like tortoises and hands. there is a red line tt no one should cross. years back, 6 caucasians crossed the line and fooled around. all of them carried away by the waves of the mighty pacific ocean. no way they could be saved.

that rock looks like the head of the famous cleopatra of egypt. figure it out, i cant see the resemblance either.

a scenery tt could only come out of sword fighting period drama.

war memorial

the guards were supposed not to move. but the 2 tt we took photos with, their hands kept fidgeting. change of guard oso not magnificient.

beautiful museum with artefacts from han dynasty. the early chinese are very very innovative and clever. in fact, many things were created by the chinese and adopted by the caucasians.

in the hotel room with our twin beds. the 1st nite we had this super duper scary big room, located in a remote corner away from the rest of the group. the room had 2 king size beds! johnny our spore tour guide was v nice, he offered to help us replace it. 2 aunties and an uncle were more den delighted to take ov the room

921 earthquake museum. this school was wrecked. now its preserved to educate pple on earthquakes

such breathtaking scenery can only be seen on postcards. sometimes i got too engrossed with takin photos tt i forget to enjoy the panaroma right in front of my eyes.

Peacock plc. the peacocks were ordinary. but this bird is magnificient. look at its hood. looks like pharoah's..its called the golden peasant. its colors are so rich, its hard to believe its not man-made.

cant recall the name of this place, i bought sesame pieces from here.

Japanese bbq restaurant. quite nice, the favourite restaurant of most in my tour group. nothing special for me. can just imagine how bad the food we tasted in tw

this is my favouritest place in the whole trip. its called sth like takora gorge or sth, cant rem how to spell. was mesmerised by the immensity of the granite mountains, scences of crystal clear water falling from the top of the vast mountains (aka waterfall) and the intense beauty of the mountains. can u spot the red indian amidst the rocks? picture perfect is an understatement for the prettiness of this place.

we were treated to several colourful dances by the 'shan di ren' i.e: mountain pple from the Ah Mei tribe. Most of the women who danced were dwarves who looked really mature, contrary to my belief that performing shan di rens are of equisite beauty. the gal in red behind me is the prettiest of them. but most of the guys have v good body, cept for a dwarve guy. after they performed their dances, they came up to the audience and gave out garlands. i wanted one, and in the end those with garlands went down to the stage to dance with them. tt's pw and me dancing. aft tt they forced themselves on us to take photos and tried to sell our photo to us at sing $20. extortion. i din really believe the tour guide when he said those money can help shan di kids in their education.

this is the 'nine shares' street(jiu fen). a tiny tiny street with a whole variety of things to see. pretty nice!

took this photo cos i was thinking how desolated this stall is. only 2 pathetic pple eatin.

had lunch at the popular fishball store beside ah shin departmental stall. i must say the food's pretty good and cheap. the fishballs are humongous, abot 3 quarters of a tennis ball? in
side them there's juicy pork meat. pretty good and innovative.

after lunch we had desert at this yam balls shop. the shopowner saw our puzzled look at the yam balls and tried to speak english with us. we managed to understand abit. he says he trys to speak to foreigners in the lang he thinks they best understand, but only saying the ingredients, not conversing. the desert is like ice kachang minus the syrup n carnation milk.

after the zillionth try and an expert's advice, pw finally catches sth.. an extremely cute sumo-man!

the tour guides kept us in stores sellin national treasures like ling zhi, royal jelly and dear's placenta. the hardsellin is scary, esp in the lingzhi shop. the sales lady left us alone only after th 3rd rejection. this is the mao princess's place, selling royal jelly. below are the big princess and the young princess.

for sum reason, we were brought to another high end shopping mall, and of cos we aint gonna get anything. den i saw this huge bear being ridden by 2 small gals and i just had to try. for a dollar fifty(sing$), we rode this panda around that level. v fun! maybe next time when i go into business i will bring these bears into singapore:)

xi men ting. the orchard rd of taiwan but betta cos really, taiwan has a greater variety of fashion retailers, albeit e prices are similar to what we see in spore.

i was most impressed with Bao ge (Bao brother) and i had to take a photo with him (man in blue print shirt). he and his tour bus are one. manoevering up and down huge mountains which border on the pacific ocean was what he was born to do. if i was working already, i would have given him a huge tip. but seeing that i'm a poor student.. nvm bao ge. hope i see u again in a few yrs' time:)

and beside pw is the most most eloquent, charming 61 yr old tour guide. cant believe his age? he swears by red Ling Zhi which is only found in taiwan. his credentials: been to 125 countries and toured europe ov 200 times in his 30 years career. inspirational.
its lunchtime when we reached the airport and that must be the most expensive bowl of minced meat rice! S$8. and pw felt like puking after half a bowl. i chose to wait for the yummy food on the plane. wise choice

on the travelator to the departure gate. the thing about this airport is the travelator only goes one way and the DFS shops are at the other end. no wonder changi is a world class airport. The plane landing home.

4 June 2006

2006-06-04T23:07:00.000+08:00

there is a new addition to the family recently. dad is cool about him, mum is fazzled ov him. Me and non? basically glad to have a new plaything. the cool thing about my family is, we just thank God for wateva that comes our way. we dun live life too hard, or ascribe to societal codes of conducts... its both good and bad. Generally i like to think that we are the deviants of society. not cookie-cutter shapes.

from 5th-8th i will be at retreat from 9-12pm. on the 9th i will be on the plane to taiwan. it is my goal to gather up collections of my memories of trips abroad, starting from this one. but as my mum nv fails to rem, God willing. still considering whether i haf enuff to spend a semester abroad in sweden after attachment. it is sth tt i look forward to, but God willing.

a thanksgiving is for attachment work with ExxonMobil. had interview on 15th may, the interviewers say will get back to me by the end of tt week but din. i thot no more, til fri shufang msged me and asked me to check email. a few days ago i was still doin my sums, how i was gonna return the sum dad lent me for uni and God provided this work attachment. pay is pretty good for attachment work. thank God!

today i had holy communion. din want to initially, thot i was unworthy. but the Holy Spirit reminded me so oft, tt i am worthy, because the Lord Jesus Christ died in place for my sins. its great.

yippee! gonna journal down my trip and update here. i'm living a full life because Christ made me alive.

7th may

2006-05-07T22:41:00.000+08:00

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Forever loved Forever remembered

mm i dunno how to begin but ya jie cai has left us peacefully n on his own accord...thru out the long weekend his BP rised gradually but it was mon morning dat his condition got serious...his BP shot to over 97 in a day n the nurses wasnt optimistic... said he couldnt make it dat nite...den mon nite i went in at 10+ pm he's stil in normal condition wif BP of 99... blood pressure was 159
3am woke up found dat his BP was 97 blood pressure was 100 over
6.30 was woken up by the nurses saying dat his blood pressure was too low n was a bad signask 3 of us 2 go in n say our last wordswent in n saw his blood pressure at abt 30+ but BP was 40+... his Heart rate 80relatives came and as we tok 2 him, his heart rate drops gradually until ard 60, my uncle says ' dun worry abt us... dats wen his blood pressure drops til zero...

he left us peacefully at 8.41am on 2nd of may 2006

will remember him always for his smiles and the joy he has brought to us
we'll never forget his cuteness and i truely hope that;
when u guys think of him, smile
because he is the one who want to make everyone happy.
forever the brother of yours
forever the one the love you of all the quarrels we've had
love jonathan
i will uphold my promise
dont worry
take care
rest in peace...

to my dearest brother, ah cai
who never fails to irritate me
and the one who had brought
so much colours to my life
thank you

the day that i received news that my sister's friend jieyan's bro died, i sent an sms to 5 other chrisitian friends. my sms must have sounded very much like chain emails that we frequently receive and love to trash.

a few weeks ago my sister nonny told me that jieyan's bro met with an accident and asked me to pray for him. funnily i kept thinking it was his older bro. i thot he was driving and sumhow met with a mishap and din tink too much of it.

now i know. he was about 15 and was knocked down by a big vehicle whilst crossing the road (according to nonny who heard it from jieyan) on the way to sch.

i was distracted by my exams,so i forgot to pray for him. not that i am a miracle prayer, but i could have prayed for jiecai. i just feel sad that i chose to look at unimportant things and promptly forget wats impt.

i know better now. its a precious lesson. i always complain things are not what they should have been. so many things are unfair to me. but there are many more things then myself.

~ words in bold above are extracted from jieyan's blog hopesxfaiths.blogspot.com with permission~

trapped. waiting for release

2006-05-01T00:34:00.000+08:00

i have shouldered the burden of being a good christian, an obedient daughter, a helpful sister for too long. all these stereotypes are chokin me. i am no longer the cheerful, bubbly, loving girl i was.

started off as a role model, a young fired up gutsy girl who nv rejected gg up in front of the youth group to share, or even in front of the adults. always enthusiastic, always smiling, very sincere, a fren's fren.

grew older, underwent puberty, became self conscious and reserved. no longer fearless. less and less friends because i din dare to open up. began to see problems in the family, finances. a parent's wrath on another. a sibling's disobedience. 2 parents' heartache. one's anger, another's helplessness. a younger sister. my own studies, my commitments. my inability to commit. tension in the family.

clammed up more. began to admire others' family, others' ease. wondered and tried to be like those i admired. success on sum occasions, failure at others. developed bad temper becos of many unsolvable problems, unfairness. studies. had frens, all non-christians. distant from youth group. few bothered to asked. i din bother to ask either. keeping up a front of being close to God. for fear of stumbling others.all the while struggling silently. silently failing when i cannot, by my own strength. still acknowlege His goodness. cannot deny. never been able to escape it.

grew up more. cynical and skeptical. even more ill tempered when sin becomes uncontrollable and no one is around to help. or isit i dun ask? transparent with my thoughts. but still no headway in ministry. place where i feel loneliest and most unbelonged. home gets betta with baby. tempers still flare. problems still there. happiness is present. but real joy is illusive. further and further away from Him and yet, have to pretend everything is alrite. so as not to stumble.

realness and pretense cannot live tgt. its no good to pretend. God is love. He doesnt wan me to fake it either. i'm as sinful as the next person. jus becos i was innocent when i was younger doesnt mean i have the obligation to be innocent now and keep being tat so as not to stumble pple. God knows how to deal with others in a way i dun. i cannot keep trying to put things into my own hands and dictate how others see me or me myself. enough of everything. now pls see the real me.

Wing Tai

2006-04-30T22:08:00.000+08:00

today i asked my mum and sisters where is Wing Tai building, a warehouse very near my home. they told me where, but started to say things like why u dunno? we always pass by there one mah, why u so unobservant? blah blah blah. i was kinda pissed. yea i acknowlege i dun haf the gift of remembering landmarks very well, like one time go to a new place den can rem how to go or bring pple there, but neither am i unobservant. i bet they duno where is hougang town council. u see, sumtimes when we pass by a place, we will just happen to see a particular building that catches our eyes, it happens. i'm especially upset with big sis. she like dad, duno many things, but becos their voices are bigger than others, they can say till they like v clever. cos i know for sure she gets around on the road with the help of her bf. "turn left now? turn rite or left?" at every junction she will ask him these qns. when he says sth too slow, she will scold him, and act clever all ov again. bleah

but truth, if i wan to get around in a car by myself one day, i need to go out much more often.

anyway, i went to Wing Tai for the Fox warehouse sale today. EVERYTHING gg for $3. sum clothings that i see at fox shops in j8 and such which cost $19 bucks and ov are sold at $3. and the quality is the same. just imagine.. i bought baby 2 cute little pieces of clothings. and got me 3 top. total cost? $15. its easy math. i'm getting my stuff from warehouses from today.

2 may accompany pw to pluck out 3 wisdom teeth. he's gonna bleed to death. 4th may is 2010, haven officially started revision.

matt asked me to consider being faci for yf retreat this coming july. i gotta rem to reply to dat, still not sure if i should??

the difference btw 2002 and 2008

2006-04-26T23:23:00.000+08:00

2002 was a morale killer while 2008 was a morale booster. i'm not talking about years, but my modules codes. after 2002, i just felt like failing the rest of the 4 papers. 2002 is complete nonsense. its so full of technical rubbish about manufacturing processes- CNC machines, lathes and FMS etc etc. i gave up studyin the whole of Casting and studied FMS instead. In the end i couldnt answer a simple 2 marks qn that asked: "What does FMS stand for?"

i listed down about 30 words i knew dat started with the letter F: Far, Fail (sumhow this word just kept popping up when i was tinking of 'F' words), Fast, Fed etc etc. finally i settled on the word 'full'. von told me after the paper that FMS stood for Flexible Manufacturing System. duh, how far.

on the way back to hall today, von said since we were all prepared to do badly for 2002, it just goes to show we are more 'sciency' that 'artsy'. means we are more of science students, less arts students. i couldnt agree with her less. give me a lit paper anytime, i could have done it properly. 2002 is real crap.

2008 is much better. i prayed before i took the paper and it made all the difference. the tutor was most kind; all the qns were from tutorial qns and past exam papers. thank God i read thru them b4 the paper.

so today i am relaxed... not as tense as the previous days. i have never panicked during exams no matter how ill prepared, in fact i like exams much more than lessons..but a funny thing occured during 2005. i shivered when the chief invigilator gave us the cue to start the paper. for a good 10 mins, i could barely control my hands. but i managed to do all the required qns. thank God (tGod) again.

good and bad, worthless and sinful as i am, i still acknowlege there is a good and merciful God.

Mum and i

2006-04-22T16:42:00.000+08:00

this is the 1st photo both mum and i look nice in. its always a bit hard to get nice pictures for 2 pple who are un-photogenic. seldom take photos with my mum, but all dat's gonna change.

i screwed up my 2002. nv felt worse after a paper. if i eva thot i am gonna 'da bao' any paper for these 2 years in uni, i tink this must be the paper. dun break the record pls.

i realised me not the only one who is upset with me paper. many pple are too. but come on, there is much more to life than exams. God din make everyone students know. seeing the variety in this world, it would be microscopic for me to focus on exams.

doesnt mean i dun study hard for the rest. its my duty after all. but i will take it with a more positive attitude

2006-04-18T17:17:00.000+08:00

Nama saya Shanley. Saya berumur dua puluh satu tahun. Keluarga saya ada enam orang. Ada bapa, emak, seorang kakak, seorang adik perempuan dan seorang bibik. Saya suka makan, bemain sukan, bertidur dan membaca buku cerita. Saya sayang keluarga saya

2006-04-16T21:08:00.000+08:00

Ryan, Shannon, Bryan, Kimberle, Belverlin

Shervin looks up, granny looks to her left, right bottom corner nephew looks to his left

Gramps cake. looks awful. but as long as she likes it

Gramp's 80-sth birthday

2006-04-16T17:14:00.000+08:00

Adrenaline

hoot hoot! til now i still cant breathe properly...cos its because my dad let me drive the car for the very 1st time! just 3 days after we got it...i'm so happy not cos its new, not cos i can drive, but just because my dad the 'chora' ALLOWED me to drive! he being cautious and scardy (haha he trust nobody's driving skills cept his own, which is quite reasonable cos he drives very well), tink he must be holding on to the passenger seat very titely. ''Eh eH, the kerb!". "u must pick up speed! like that the transmission gone aredi". aiya my poor dad try to tell me to go faster, but i learn from my instructor that gear 3 is for 30km/hr leh...so i stay at 30-40 lo haha.

i oso very breathless cos i left my handphone and hair clip behind in the car. i realised it only when i wanted to call pw..i ran after the car but dad cannot see me. so i rushed to the bus stop, and screamed at someone to lend me a hp. den i called him and he came back to give it to me. hehe. by the time i got back to hall i was like 'hu hu hu'.

so thank God everything is fine. and for the 1st time in my life, i took photos with my granny. not individually, but with my majority of my whole generation of cousins. shervin-shannon-me, kimberle-belverline, ian-ryan-bryan, deyonces-denise, malaysia jie jie and even mayen, who is one generation below us. she is super grouchy, had to keep catching her to take photos together. i'm quite touched when all the cousins sat down at the staircase in my auntie's house, and asked granny to sit in front in the middle. its like nv before we did dat. was just tinking if she is gg to go away soon...

i need to get back to malay. arrghh!!!!! aku tak tau!! jialat..i shall try my best.

today before ps eddy gave the benediction, he told us to do the easter shout. its hilarious! we go like: Jesus is risen, HALLELUJAH! He is risen indeed! den all the aunties and uncles and even my dad shout very loud. duh.. but truth is truth. Jesus is risen, thank u Lord.

2006-04-14T15:45:00.000+08:00

i forgot the password i had just resetted last night for my edventure, studentlink and email. terrible! had to fax, take photo (using hp), send email before i got it resetted. but really thank God, cos now i haf it, hence i know where i am supposed to sit durin the exams. its a relief.

now i want to study malay till da mayen comes back. later on, i will write about 2 of my favourite holy communion songs which we sang today for good friday. thank u Jesus.

17-APR-2006
0930-1200
LM80
HALL E-Badminton Hall, Sports & Recreation Centre
656

17-APR-2006
1330-1600
MS2005
HALL L-School of Biological Sciences (Lobby)
306

21-APR-2006
1430-1700
MS2002
HALL D-Basketball Court, Sports & Recreation Centre
382

24-APR-2006
1330-1530
MS2009
HALL L-School of Biological Sciences (Lobby)
259

26-APR-2006
0930-1200
MS2008
HALL B-Exhibition Hall, Level 3, Nanyang Auditorium
1031

04-MAY-2006
0930-1200
MS2010
HALL B-Exhibition Hall, Level 3, Nanyang Auditorium
1060

05-MAY-2006
1430-1700
EE8086
HALL A-Foyer, Basement 1, Nanyang Auditorium
419

2006-04-14T02:22:00.000+08:00

for 28th march. to be elaborated later on

2006-04-14T02:03:00.000+08:00

by the time i got here, i forgot what i wanted to write about aredi. isit my exam matters? i'm getting senile without even trying too hard to.

gaa gaa! i cant finish my revision! tml got good friday service at 1030am. i actually oso wana help my small group make sushi at 4 on sat, but really cannot, too much stuff incompleted. oso dis sat i should be going to chc for easter concert?i really duno if i can afford the time... bleah.i gotta let yin know before hand, if not she say i back out last min again. actually i should learn to let my yay be yay and my nay be nay. i tend to let my mood affect me too much. if i dun feel like at that moment, i will just not do it,or do it, whicheva.its selfish and hurts others, so i shall stop doing dat.

oh yea i jus remembered what i wanted to write. i wan to remind myself that on the 19th april is the date due for handing in docs for the summer prog to hk and china. for the month of june - 20 days. i need to get more info. i still duno the dates tat i will be gg to tw wit pw. after exams i need to take a few jabs and renew my passport and many other things.

and my 2005!!! i still duno how to see which is 2 force or 3 force members leh!! and my malay!! God help me .

and haven even started on 2002 and 2008. imagine! jus how slow i was at revising for 2005. but as yin's msn nick says: "fear weakens, faith empowers!". how true. i shall rem dat in the days leading to the exams.

alritey i shall leave my mark here

2006-04-12T20:52:00.000+08:00

hello! i will update on a surprise birthday gift i received from my frens cww some time after the exams. too many things to say write about that le.

right now i am officially hall-less. the official date was 7th april but i still got my things inside la, no prob, pw will send them back home for me. the prob is where am i gonna find room to keep them in my bedroom. storeroom is my dad's, kitchen my mum's. Shervin's room is hers and baby's.

i tink i spend more hours watching tv den sleeping. scv has huang fei hong. chuang shi ji. xin hua fang. den at 10pm channel u has the celebrated da chang jin. which reminds me. last night i was watchin this show with mayen and shannon and suddenly, baby looked back and kept sayin to me " eh eh (how she calls me), kee, kee". i looked back to my main door gate and saw nothing amiss. i din understand wat she was toking about. den shannon turned back and saw dat my mum had left the door unlocked, with the keys dangling in the lock! this incident made me realise 2 things - i am still as heck care as ever, forgetting my keys, wallet, ezlink card etc - and mayen is such a darling. she is like our nanny, reminding my mum to bring umbrella when they go out, searching for and finding my mum's and mine handphones when we lose it around in the house. and she is not even 2 years old!for that, i conferred to her the title of 'da mayen', similar to da chang jin. in olden korea, the title 'da' is the 3rd highest ranking official in the kingdom. after i conferred the title on her, i carried her to my father (her gramps) and made her pay respect to the 'chora' (emperor of olden korea) while i updated him on her new status. he din say much, he just asked me to bring da mayen away cos he din wana share the biscuits he was eating with her. wat a chora! only know how to eat..hmmph! haha

yup. i was made aware i spent most of my day watching tv when i was sms-ing on the phone with pw. he takes an afternoon nap every afternoon and i was makin a passing remark, saying that he naps everyday. den he shot back with a reply dat said sth like " ya la, i nap most of the time, u watch tv most of the time, so same la". its true. i was tinking if say i din watch tv one whole day, i would have maybe 15 spasms by the end of the day. one spasm for each half hour of tv i should have watched but din. and for that, i conclude that watching tv is an anti-social behaviour. i could have asked my frens out for a meal or even met pw for a meal or sth else, other than study. time would have been better spent. tv to me is like cigarettes to my dad - costly but difficult to quit.

actually i'm quite stressed now. i'm still grinding at 2005. i know i can get a pass but i wun get an A. at most B. and for dat i feel quite upset cos its my fault dat i started revision late. i like this module dats y i'm studying a little harder for it. i cant expect a rainbow in a sunny sky rite? so i wun be too bothered i hope. i'm actually bothered ov watching tv so much. nope, i'm actually bothered i duno how to use my time fully. nope...hehe actually am i really bothered?

i'm not sure. i signed up for boxercise class at the cc on mon. i wana box my lazy bones to bits and pieces. den i will put them in the ashen jar and scatter them out at sea. maybe they willl make all the fish in the sea lazy and den the fisherman will get a better catch to feed his families.

back 2 work before mayen and i sings at the top of our lungs "WU LA LA WU LA LA!!!" (soundtrack of da chang jin movie)