I am Shan.

Shanley

-11:42 PM

Its no secret that i hate my job. Just emerged from 2 hours of crunching numbers for target setting, which i feel has no bearing on how i am going to bring down my KPI.

I do not have the strength to describe my typical day in detail. Summarily, its like being a headless fly. A headless fly chasing people for due actions, actions, actions. Organising and chairing meetings on major process issues that crop up so often which i do not have any deep understanding of. How does 1 chair a meeting on sth he/she does not understand? This is a thorn in my flesh. Point your extinguisher at wherever the fire pops up and shoot away. Don't bother building up technical knowledge, there isnt time to do it. Because all time is spent using excel pivot tables/macros to track which engineer did not hand in his report on time. Churn out alot of data and guess what your boss needs for staff meeting because she is also guessing what her boss needs.

This is really not working out at all. What have i learnt? Zilch (But really MUCH more than when i was in training dept). To be fair, i did learn alot more on using excel file to churn out reports, but what does that help? A fair bit of analysis also, but in technical aspects, close to zilch. Just a high paid secretary. Its painful to think what the rest of the engineers think of this position.

Another damn week begins. 0004hrs




-10:44 PM


Christopher currently in Russia on board Safe Astoria. Poor him!

Ayam penyet

That might be ferrari?

And this could be McClaren.

Barichello throwing his cap/gloves into the river.

Massa pulling away with the fuel pipe attached, knocking down a mechanic dramatically.

David coulthard almost pulling off the same trick.

Trulli nearly fainting

Raikkonen not caring a hoot for his team nor team-mate and crashing into the barrier he has avoided for nearly 60 laps.

Alonso winning (not v exciting, but quite admirable that he kept his cool and his car didnt disappoint)

Such exciting imageries!

countdown 3 working days + 2 weekend-days to the real world. A quote from my future boss:

"If you can survive here, you can survive anywhere." Shudder.

-4:27 PM

The flash.

54 days..which is 1296 hours..which is 77 760 minutes....which is 4 665 600 seconds just zoomed by. The days are a blur, a frenzy, extremely tiring. in this short time, there's been a 4-vehicle-chain accident, go karting, F1 pre-practise recee, and the actual practise in 3 hours (thanks to the ever caring Clarissa. Wah, great to be her friend, she v take care of me and everyone else who knows her! :)) Celebrated Clarissa's birthday, ate Botak Jones, had ayam penyet (flattened chicken), sold a few tupperwares to a lovely (i find her looks very sweet) colleague, gave tuition to Clarissa's son (cute joel with giraffe eyelashes), had such wonderful colleagues and bosses.

Good things come to an end, the fun is over and the real world begins on 8 October. Really enjoyed working with Irina/Ray/Tatiana/Lars/Katya, based in Russia. Wish i had an opportunity to actually visit them there!

I'm afraid...of working for Singaporean bosses. Not that i have worked for one for long before. Scottish bosses are very nice and considerate. Although they always joke about females being weaker. At least only Jim, but i know he is joking (i hope).

I sat down with him once, and said "Jim, if you can trust me, i would like to do things on my own, even though i may not be experienced at all. if i'm unclear, i will seek your advise" And he says: "Yea, good. After all i pay your salary and i expect you to do your work, if i have to do your work, then why should you be getting a salary?"

I totally agreed with that and we had a deal. It worked extremely well because I am very comfortable with handling challenges without micro-managment and because Jim is an excellent boss. He never gets stressed no matter what the difficulty is. He seems to have all the solutions to the problems i present him. Secondly, he doesnt let me sink by myself, he protects his surbodinate (ie stands up for me when others are being difficult)

I remember once, his tone was very harsh, but i knew it was not directed at me, but at somebody else. He came out and said very gently " Shanley, you know that was not at you" or something.

For those of us who wants to be bosses in future, we should learn to adopt the big heartedness and confidence of the angmohs. They are absolutely not perfect, but we can pick and choose their good points, same as what they can from us. Asians are very very efficient and clever workers, which they obviously know.


The new work is quite near my house, just a 15 mins car ride.

ok i'm going off now. continue later.











-8:25 PM

I've got things to blog about, but i'm simply too tired. coming from a fitful-rest chalet night and a 2.5 hr tuition makes me stoned.

i see this bump on my knee. its a mosquito bite but it looks like the protrusion of a scar tissue. the mosquito which bit me is very frenzied. the typical mosquitoes that preyed on me were all devious. they knew how to torment me by flying so close by, making me think that i could slap them to death, but escaping in the mini-seconds. they taunted me often and they're cool..or so they act. but this one...its abit different. its so hurried, so...scared or sth. but all the same, i cannot catch it.

someone taught me once, just spread out my legs and sit still. wait for the enemy to make a landing. then when it has its stingers stuck drilling for its honey, land a big one. The success rate of this is 50%, a significant increase from 10% when counter-attack was made in the air previously. Thank you, that someone.

Day by day. That's it. Life can be lived day by day. Temptations can be won day by day. A person can be loved day by day. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof. Praise the Lord!

Day by day..day by day..day by day.


on another note, my family can really be the ambassodors of singapore tourism. Make us the poster family pls (and pay us)! We've been to science centre, snow city, zoo, night safari, discovery centre, chalets, prawning, fishing, sentosa (many times as a fam) and so much more.


in the next 2 months, i need not fret ov money...at all. the experience is gg to be so diff from last time. its amazing how when a door shuts right in my face, several others open up so soon after. and to tink i believed that God's plans are not clear at all. but yes, they will not be clear at first, but when the time comes, they become so clear, its like crystals. its a yes and no. but there is a WAIT in between. there's a yes. No...WAIT...yes...NO...WAIT... but the wait is what is most special. its painful indeed, very painful, but its what's most special. IT SHOWS YOU YOUR CHARACTER. it showed me mine.

ugly. impatient. silly. but i grew. and continue to grow. and will continue to grow. expectant of more wait.

2 months starting on monday. day by day, shan. day by day.






-1:05 AM

There are times that i wish my dreams are simply the following:

. go scuba-diving and see the wonderful creatures underwater
. lie down on the vast-est, freshest green grassland and look up into the blue-est sky
. spend retirement in a farm in China
. open my eyes one day and find that i am living in a some sort of english cottage. then open the window and look out into a street where pple are walking leisurely, with no hurry and going about their daily businesses with smiles on their faces.
. climb mt kinabalu and run a 5-km marathon

the above are all real-life dreams that i gathered from pple ard me.

some of these dreams are so simple and achievable, its just amazing that pple consider them dreams. its either these pple are really successful with their lives so far so that they have alr experienced the higher things in life or they must be very contented pple.

for which case both I am not.

till the day the FAMILY finally gets the things that they want without anybody feeling strained; till the day the poor cousins and causes are helped (youth-at-risks, 3rd world countries); till the day money is expended to help the less fortunate- i find that i simply cannot have simple dreams.

or can i? if what i believe is wrong, can someone please save me?

circumstances mold pple to be the persons they are. for me, the trying period was 8 yrs ago when ok income became low income. over-sensitive? checked. unable to let go of past experiences? checked. but i never want to go back to those years again. it definitely impacted the tender heart.

the short-term dream- money.
the middle-term dream - money.
the long-term dream- money.

of course these are interspersed with learning. 2 major themes in life. money and learning. learning and money. but i tink money first.

others may suffer worse circumstances. but i dun believe it is accurate to compare who is absolutely worse. because each person's make-up is different.

A experiences worse things than B is life. But A is stronger than B. A survives and comes out better than B. Something like that.

I tink my dream is to be able to dream simply. I tink i will be so much happier than. No, i'm sure i will be much happier.


-10:11 PM

On the 28th March 2008 Friday, Ah Mei, Vonny, Ah Fang (aka Ah ma.. aaka 'Fungi') and me met at bugis for steamboat at Chong Qing. i was presented with a big bouquet of 3 sunflowers plus an assortment of very nice flowers. Really loved it. Rearranged it when i was home.


Chong qing offers a flat rate of 18 bucks. it isnt very cheap, considering that the food is okie only...but not too bad cos we ate for nearly 3 hours. the best thing is the pork liver. its so so delicious when cooked thoroughly in the boiling chicken soup! wah, really enjoyed it. so thin and yummy...hmmmm :)

After dinner we considered having a drink at the one of the singing pubs in city hall, but decided against it cos we were like all too lazy to walk all the way there. So we settled for TCC, waited for a while to sit inside, where there is air-con and no cigarette smoke. And talked and laughed at everything under the roof like girls would. Its my birthday rite? so i asked if there is any birthday discounts/promotion. Kena said "auntie!" by vonny when i went to her house today duh hahahah.

Front from left: Vonny, Shan. Back, left: Ah fang ah ma, ah mei

With Mighty Joe Young

With rose sth
With her honey drink
With her mint drink
Plus ti-rum-misu in a heart-shaped plate and duno what cake.

Yinny couldnt join us even tho i wanted to postpone the outing till Mon. But here's a pic of crazy her and me in the toilet at PS when we went to eat dat day.

Thank you Father, for these friends. Two of them are yet to know You. Through me Lord, through me work.


-1:38 PM

I guess sth happened to the blogskin. Maybe the creator took it down or has been banned from displaying more...not sure how these things work but i'm gonna find out when i'm abit freeer.

until i select another blogskin or create my own then.


-12:40 PM

December alone, i attended 2 weddings. One was on Christmas day itself and the other was 4 days later. One i heard my good friend being an MC, the other i was the MC myself. In both weddings, the Lord was thanked. The Christmas one had a Christmas message and a chinese Christian song. The 29th one had a pastor saying grace for the food.


nor,xu,shan,boy,bing, caix,meng @ swiss merchant hotel 25 dec -Bing's oldest bro wedding

Non, daddy w goofy smile,shan @ river city peninsular excelsior hotel - vin's wedding

As MC - tryin to explain the significance of each toast

Yinny was invited to the wedding tgt with her mum, my mummy's friend.

January had been a hectic hectic month and so will all the other months leading up to May. FYP report due on first week march and my experiments only 1/3 done. Lecture presentation on first week March for e&s. DGs on tues. North games day on Fridays. This sem I have 4 examinable subjects as compared to Von who only has 1.

But this has been the time i'm enjoying how to rely on God in all things. My project deadlines, my revision, my fyp equipments, arrangements, my family... its different when there is a personal r/s with the Lord as compared to being self-sufficient and relying on myself.

its : i can do all things thru Him who gives me strength Phil 4:13

Another week is dawn. Aza Aza fightin!

-5:25 PM

Suzy is our FYP mentor and we all like her very much. Her actual name is not Suzy, its Suxiu but duno how come the CPL lab tech training us for furnace called her "suzy suzy". So from then on, we followed. we all addressed her differently in print. Suyin writes her as "Suzzie", Dennis - "Susie (or sth)" and me suzy.
Even funnier. The lab tech's name is Poh Tin (sounds like protein). and Suyin saves her name as "Furnace". Its gonna be a hoot if "furnace" calls her one day.
Sun is her 24th birthday, but we celebrated in advance in sch. We got her a choc fudge cake from swissbake, sarpino's pizza and had a little absolute vodka and jack daniels as forfeit for our games.
we played googles up!, te-te-te-te-te-te!, qing ni gen wo yi qi shu. den the girls went toilet, den the guys lighted the candles den i took photos.
we went je played arcade and i reached home around 130am. Managed to catch the last bus!!



absolute,coke, jack daniels, sprite and ice. amazing..we can get ice in sch...all thanks to dennis:P
Suzy, me and SuyinSarpino's pizza. Wow the spicy chicken is really spicyNo wonder we are all so happy. Good food, great company
I'm included The guys prep-ing for Suzy. The girls decoyed her by going to toilet en-massed. I was kinda stoned so i din get the cue haha, was wondering how come the girls all go toilet. so here i am taking photos of the guys
Seems like its their birthday
Cutie-pie suzy was pleasantly surprised!
Our whole group using the self-timer function. My camera came in handy!




-12:51 AM

Pictures say one thousand words.


ExxonMobil 2006. The funnest dude is Cowy!!



-9:28 PM

Our jetstar asia flight was scheduled to leave at 7:05am. In the days leading up to the trip, we gathered much good used clothings to bring to the children. Because we had quite a few 'china bags' of clothings and props, we met at 430 to sort out logistics and check in our baggages.


DAY ONE

Us in the jetstar plane. Surprisingly, the seats are bigger and the leg room more generous than the silk air plane i took last year. the journey is short, 1 hr 45 mins, but kinda turbulence-y.



Cambodia is one hour earlier than us, means we reached phnom penh airport at 8am (spore time 9am). There, we met up with Dr Castro who came to pick us on a mini-bus.

We checked into a budget hotel, but funnily, no shot was taken there. Altogether we stayed in 3 hotels, and they just kept getting better and nicer. We had time to pack up and rest. In the evening, we headed to Dr Castro's house to have dinner, lovingly prepared by his woman sheep. They cooked squid, vegetables and chicken, delicious.

Before we went to the hotel, we were brought to the famous Toul Sleng School, which was turned into a torture chamber for tens of thousands of people suspected of being traitors to the pol pot communist regime. Some of the tortured were foreigners, but cruelly, majority of them were cambodians. Cambodians torturing cambodians, what could be worse?

stylistic shot of the classrooms where torture took place.

I'll stop here for now, the internet connection is cranky and takes half an hour to load 5 pictures.







-12:16 AM

And thanks bro david heng, my support was raised up to 90%.. this thanks is way overdue, but heartfelt:)

and so i am back to update on some stuff. wanted to start on my cambodia trip, which is way way overdue..got the pictures on the 23jul when i met up with the rest. i still rem what happened den, no worries.

i've been working for the past 2 weeks. on the 12/13, i took over fang as a receptionist at bosch. on the 16th, i started work as a procurement assistant in jurong east, Prosafe offshore pte ltd. Additionally i took up 2 new tuitions = 3 boys from China.

Hardly have time to sleep. so used to working every holiday that i find it weird if i didn't have work to do. some of my peers have started on the fyp already, i'm still not even sure who my mentor is. i wonder if i will get very nervous when i go back to sch and decided to start on my fyp den find that in the lab, all my peers are already into their 5th set of experiments, and possibly starting on the report.

my new tuition boys, one is taking N levels, 17 yrs old, two of them are in sec one, 14 and 16 years old. today i was teaching the sec ones, and i very nearly burst into tears. This is the first time i felt so stressed out giving tuition. their foundation in english is very very weak and they had to do full length sec one comprehensions. And the new english syllabus is really quite crap, it focuses on nouns, pronouns etc, things that we dun learn in our era. we learn vocab, grammar, and the only way i know how to learn english is thru reading. read and read. how am i going to teach them in such a short time before they draw blanks from their eng exam papers?

so helpless in helping them, and they keep talking about other things. i really enjoy talking with them about their school and all their school fights, but it doesnt help them improve. how am i going to teach them what is light years beyond their understanding?

i walked out of their house and called mum, called non, called jie,asking for someone to meet for dinner, for comfort. But nobody's able to make it. so i continued along the way, walking and tinking and toking sometimes to God. den i got some food and began to calm down. den mum and the babies joined me, and i'm just so happy to see the babies.

but hooray! the 17 yr boy is a christian and the two sec ones go to church every sun. Amazing huh






-4:40 PM

Dear all,

Haven got the pictures from the cambodian trip, so cannot recall the sequence of events in cambodian. Will update as soon as i get hold of the pics!



-10:00 PM

One more thing, i'm so proud of my fren rachel yeo. Despite being in transition between jobs and having to pay for her part-time school fees, she generously supported my fund-raising with $100 from her bonus. Thank the Lord for stretching her faith! i'm sure she will grow... and love to all my supporters, i have reached 80%. Thank u Jesus!


-9:38 PM

Oh and something funny to add.

My 3 yr old niece has a naughty habit. she takes my handphone when i'm unaware and sends mms and sms to pple. once she sent 8 mms to ah lai!!! cost me like $4?

today i just got back, left my phone on the sofa, she took it. before long, i see the words 'message sent'. i checked the sent items folder and saw that she has forwarded an sms i typed to a fren this afternoon to ab. below is the email exchange btw me and ab.

me: sorry, my noti niece sent an sms to you wrongly, haha.

AB: wow, your niece's command of english is extraordinary i must say.

me: that was my english. My niece's command of mischief is extraordinary tho :P


-9:01 PM

He answers.

have been praying for about 2 weeks regarding whether my cambodia trip should be extended. Emails have been going to and from karen goh and discussing if its feasible to stay another 3 more weeks before her team arrives in cambodia. and as i prayed, i commited my tuition dilemma to the lord and questions on how to survive by myself. prayed for a clear sign.

and a clear sign it is. this afternoon while having lunch with the team, i asked CY if its possible to take a ride from Dr Chatos when he leaves siem reap to head towards kampung thom, which is nearer phnom penh where karen could hook me up with some of her missionary friends. i explained to him that i wanted to extend my trip, and CY told me 'no'. Campus crusade has this policy whereby trippers going with them are to come back with them, there will be no exception. and since if i insisted, it would mean not be submitting to authority, and so, i believe its a very clear sign that the trip on my own should not be extended. maybe God thinks the time is not right yet. Further to that, i came home and told my parents, my dad was like quite relieved me was not gonna stay over there by myself. din know he would be relieved, cos when told him i wanted to extend, he just asked why and left it at dat. my dad always lets me make the decisions and follow thru them.

and so, God answers! 1 prayer item down. But part 2 will be to pray if i should join karen's team and go back to cambodia again when they head down on the 16th july.


i have sinned! have not been entirely truthful about something i spoke to some of my team members today due to a bit of pride. its too long to write it all down, but i know the Lord Jesus has forgiven me of my past, present and future sins. There are some habits of mine i'm not proud of when dealing with people and i pray that esp during the trip, the Lord will constantly give me strength to rely on Him. If i was perfect in everyway, i would ignore God, because there will be the false believe that i can do everything on my own. but because of my imperfections, there are many opportunities to cry out to Him!

my prayer 2 has been about smp-edb scholarship. By His planning and grace, got through the first round of interview and took the 2nd and final round on wed morning. and surprise! at the first interview saw victor quek! pleasant surprise in that strange environment. he's an engineer too, but he's since left the company. Sad..

1st interview was with eric from hr. we spoke at length about many things and he told me he appreciated my candidness.and he did teach me many things, including giving me 2 'IQ' questions. not really IQ but i was taught much.

2nd interview was with a manager. he showed me around the office and we spoke at length about the company, the engineer's job scope and i asked many questions. this manager has a face that cannot be deciphered..he seems happy talking to me, but he never did drop clues about whether i have passed the interview. and now all i can do is pray and wait. God is wonderful! slowly i'm learning to experience His answers to my prayers. Whether or not this scholarship is suitable for me, the semicon industry is good for me, and what to do with joachim's project, one by one i will gradually know:)

So praise ye the Lord! ahhh...i'm still waiting for some pics from geraldine...














-11:03 PM

Never, never be discouraged, for discouragement is from the devil.

Praise the Lord! Praise our most glorious Lord! (read revelations to know why He is so wonderfully glorious).

My support raising is up to 70% already with contributions from Serene Zhang and Chong Mian. Praise the Lord! God is very good and generous.

Thank u corrine, june, chongmian, serene:) Thank God!

tml i will be taking my first aid test. hahaha yippee





-12:46 AM




-1:44 AM

I've got a few things to consider.

First of all a thanksgiving. Dear corrine sms-ed me to say that she will support me with $150 for my trip. Praise the Lord.

He is great, so kind and generous to such a worthless person like me, totally undeserved.

i've got an offer to work as a showroom assistant on fri, sat and sun 10am-6pm. But den i will be missing church! are there services on other days of the week? today i took my bike out to recee "The people's bible church", i'm supposed to mt my group there on tues. on the way i saw a few churches, and i was tinking how really dilapidated churches are on weekdays. like how come there are no services, how come God's pple only worship Him on sundays?

i signed up for SMP-EDP, a programme that the economic development board invested $8-million to train microelectronics engineers out of MSE, EEE and such students. i know my results are way below expectations, but always felt that never try never know. The benefits of this programme: a $1080/mth stipend for the whole of year 4 of studies and a guranteed one year bond with a semicon com. This industry is really prolific at the moment.

but would have to do a final year project on microe, and take 5 major prescribes on it. up till now i have no idea what i would like to specialise in, and even tho i do not mind microe, but was not actively pursuing it. but this time its like the path is there for me to choose, so i took a chance.

i'm shortlisted for the first interview this coming mon. but thinking of my results, my chances look pretty slim, but of course, i know for sure, with God, nothing is impossible. The thing that is quite bothering me is that i've already accepted joachim's biomaterials fyp. but no need to worry to that extend cos not even sure if i will get thru this first interview.

as for y-comm, sorry to jon for the delay in coming up with the articles. as what ps eddy has said, the best if as a team we can research on the seven sins before writing the article. it has been like personal research and opinions so far. i have told jon that 3 june is too unrealistic the release date, my slowness not counted, but rather the newsletter design will take ages. it takes the designer to know this.

tml non and me going to church of singapore to listen to benny ho. Exciting.

for my tuition kids, i really love them. they're smart and willing to learn and better disciplined than myself. but their results no improvement!! their mum must be super disappointed in me. but i try my best to impart to them lessons out of textbook. it takes time to see the effort. God bless them.Me bringing them out to watch shrek on 7th june. pray for conversational evangelism with them.

1,2nd june overnight camp with the cambodian team. till now duno wat flight we are taking! must make sure my stamina is well trained in the days leading up to the trip as i'm prone to get food poisoned and stuff. 2 more pre-believers are joining us Praise the Lord!

4,5,6 june will be at red cross society attending the SFA(standard first aid) course. always wanted to learn first aid and cpr, nv gotten down to it. now trying to get the certification. Rem to make payment by 30may.

oh yes children's camp mtg this sunday at 130pm gardens! so looking forward to a camp after the hiatus from 2004. wilfred is the camp comm. toking about him, i've broached the subject of not printing our ycomm coming issue in color so that the additional $ could be passed on to help support floorball for christ or other support raising youths. so glad so glad to see a number of our youths raising support while serving as project servants in yfc. lovely!! its great, and i'm so looking forward to working and giving to these youths. sad that i can only support elene a little after all the support letters she send me every month. in another year elene.

what else...this blog is like my notebook. everything i need to rem i will just jot down here, so i see it i rem. because my laptop will always be on my table, but my physical notebooks each disappear as soon as i jot things down in them. nv changed this bad habit of mine - slipshoddyness.

toking about my laptop, its been serving me really well these past 3 years. only re-formatted twice, nv went for servicing. throwing away the warranty card wasn't so terrible after all. it survived the 3 years warranty period and is still goin.

when there are things to do, there seems like many things. when there is nothing, i can literally hear the mosquito buzzing in my ear.

tml i will go for yf!!! been telling this to myself for ages



-11:03 PM

I made delicious brownie in 20 mins flat. The ingredients are (from left): Self-raising flour, 2 eggs, Van houten cocoa, vanilla essence, scs butter, sugar and a pinch of salt. That simple. throwing everything into the mixing bowl took 3 mins. Mixing took 7 mins. and baking the brownie took a mere 13 mins. it should prob be anywhere from 8 to 10 mins, but kiasu me used 13 mins to bake. and u knw why its so fast?




This baby here is the secret. The stack cooker. I spread the batter into the second rack, put on the lid and left it in the microwave (yes u got it right, my lousy old mv at home) for 13 mins.amazing invention. tomorrow i am cooking brocolli with mushroom and prawns, and still researching on what kinda fish to cook in it for dinner. its great for me, cos right now i still haven overcome my fear of igniting the stove. find out more from me about this amazing product. cool

Nonny

kim

Yinny

Shi-meimei

Cowy

Olivia

Sweet Jo

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